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The 09/10/13 Joy Jar

9 Sep

People may ask what is the greatest gift one can receive? Moi would point them to the great King Solomon:

2 Chronicles 1
New International Version (NIV)
Solomon Asks for Wisdom
1 Solomon son of David established himself firmly over his kingdom, for the LORD his God was with him and made him exceedingly great.
2 Then Solomon spoke to all Israel—to the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, to the judges and to all the leaders in Israel, the heads of families— 3 and Solomon and the whole assembly went to the high place at Gibeon, for God’s tent of meeting was there, which Moses the LORD’s servant had made in the wilderness. 4 Now David had brought up the ark of God from Kiriath Jearim to the place he had prepared for it, because he had pitched a tent for it in Jerusalem. 5 But the bronze altar that Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, had made was in Gibeon in front of the tabernacle of the LORD; so Solomon and the assembly inquired of him there. 6 Solomon went up to the bronze altar before the LORD in the tent of meeting and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it.
7 That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”
8 Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. 9 Now, LORD God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. 10 Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?” http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Chronicles+1&version=NIV

Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is moi’s request for wisdom.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

May, Path, Leave

Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Experience, Happens For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn

Good, Knowledge, Alone If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

Work, Give, Trying By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius

Experience, May, Learn The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
Socrates

True, Knowing We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.
Swami Vivekananda

Travel, Care, Words A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
Moliere

Best, Patience, Wise A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
Nelson Mandela

Good, Heart, Head

Wisdom begins in wonder.
Socrates

Wonder, Begins The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.
Khalil Gibran

Teacher, Wise, Mind If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

Heart, Him, Talk A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.
John C. Maxwell

Smart, Strong, Mistakes Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein

Reality, Illusion, Persistent Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson

Book, Honesty, Chapter

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward

Change, Wind, Pessimist I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.
Lucille Ball

Done, Regret, Rather It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.
Henry David Thoreau

Matters Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
Jim Rohn

Between, Discipline, Goals A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Wise, Fool, Himself Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Vince Lombardi

Win, Winners, Quit Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
George Bernard Shaw

Knowledge, Ignorance, Dangerous Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nature, Patience, Her When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.
Confucius

Cannot, Action, Goals Silence is a source of great strength.
Lao Tzu

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_wisdom.html#XmGc2kgD9GZrt9wA.99

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Electronic cigarette use growing among kids

9 Sep

Moi wrote in More California teens turning to smokeless tobacco:
Some children consider smoking a rite of passage into adolescence. According to Tobacco Facts most teenage smoking http://www.tobacco-facts.net/smoking-facts/teen-smoking-facts starts early. Among the statistics cited at Tobacco Facts are the following:
Each day 3,000 children smoke their first cigarette.
Tobacco use primarily begins in early adolescence, typically by age 16.
At least 3 million adolescents are smokers.
20 percent of American teens smoke.
Almost all first use occurs before high school graduation.
Roughly 6 million teens in the US today smoke despite the knowledge that it is addictive and leads to disease.
Of the 3,000 teens who started smoking today, nearly 1,000 will eventually die as a result from smoking.
Of every 100,000 15 year old smokers, tobacco will prematurely kill at least 20,000 before the age of 70.
Adolescent girls who smoke and take oral birth control pills greatly increase their chances of having blood clots and strokes.
According to the Surgeon’s General, Teenagers who smoke were:
* Three times more likely to use alcohol.
* Eight times are likely to smoke marijuana.
* And 22 times more likely to use Cocaine.
Although only 5 percent of high school smokers said that they would definitely be smoking five years later, close to 75 percent were still smoking 7 to 9 years later.
Kids who smoke experience changes in the lungs and reduced lung growth, and they risk not achieving normal lung function as an adult.
A person who starts smoking at age 13 will have a more difficult time quitting, has more health-related problems and probably will die earlier than a person who begins to smoke at age 21.
Kids who smoke have significant health problems, including cough and phlegm production, decreased physical fitness and unfavorable lipid profile.
If your child’s best friends smoke, then your youngster is 13 times more likely to smoke than if his or her friends did not smoke.
Adolescents who have two parents who smoke are more than twice as likely as youth without smoking parents to become smokers.
More than 90 percent of adult smokers started when they were teens.
It is important to prevent teens from beginning to smoke because of health issues and the difficulty many smokers have in quitting the habit. See, E-Cigarette Teen Popularity Prompts Concerns http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/09/11/e-cigarette-teen-popular_n_1875319.html
Richard Craver of the Winston-Salem Journal wrote in the article, Electronic cigarettes gaining on traditional products:
The swelling popularity of electronic cigarettes may add to the regulatory and revenue tension between tobacco manufacturers and states.
Electronic cigarettes, or e-cigs, are battery-powered devices that heat a liquid nicotine solution in a disposable cartridge and create a vapor that is inhaled.
Refill cartridges can be purchased in different sizes and flavors; five-packs typically cost between $9 and $18. By comparison, a carton of cigarettes can cost between $25 and $50 for most name brands.
Bonnie Herzog, a Wells Fargo Securities analyst, believes the e-cig craze has shifted from “fad” to “here to stay.”
So much so that Herzog said recently in a note to investors that e-cig sales could grow fast enough to affect the payments states receive from the landmark Master Settlement Agreement.
Tobacco companies, including R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., agreed in 1998 to settle lawsuits filed by 46 state attorneys general over smoking-related health-care costs by paying those states about $206 billion over more than 20 years.
Most states have redirected much, if not all, of their MSA money to general expenditures, much to the chagrin of public-health advocacy groups.
Meanwhile, sales of e-cigs are about $300 million a year and the products have about 2.5 million users, according to Tobacco Vapor Electronic Cigarette Association.http://www.journalnow.com/business/business_news/local/article_41fa04d6-4655-11e2-95d9-0019bb30f31a.html
Science Daily reported about a Swedish Study which showed that parents are influential in their child’s decision whether to smoke.
Teenagers are more positive today towards their parents’ attempts to discourage them from smoking, regardless of whether or not they smoked, than in the past. The most effective actions parents could take include dissuading their children from smoking, not smoking themselves and not allowing their children to smoke at home. Younger children were more positive about these approaches than older children. Levels of smoking amongst participants were stable at 8% in 1987 and 1994, but halved in 2003. The decrease in the proportion of teenagers smoking is thought to result from a number of factors, including changes in legislation and the decreasing social acceptability of smoking…. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090303193956.htm
Another study reported by Reuters came to a similar conclusion that parents influence the decision whether to smoke http://www.reuters.com/article/2009/08/26/us-smoking-teens-idUSTRE57P43R20090826 The Mayo Clinic has some excellent tips on preventing your teen from smoking http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/teen-smoking/HQ00139
As with a lot of issues adolescents face, it is important for parents and guardians to know what is going on in their children’s lives. You should know who your children’s friends are and how these friends feel about smoking, drugs, and issues like sex. You should also know how the parents of your children’s friends feel about these issues. Do they smoke, for example, or are they permissive in allowing their children to use alcohol and/or other drugs. Are these values in accord with your values? https://drwilda.com/2012/12/16/more-california-teens-turning-to-smokeless-tobacco/
Brady Dennis wrote in the Washington Post article, E-cigarette use among middle and high school students skyrockets, CDC data show:
The use of electronic cigarettes among middle and high school students has been rising rapidly, a trend that public health officials worry could undermine decades of efforts to reduce youth smoking and put a growing number of teenagers on a path toward conventional cigarettes.
According to data released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the percentage of middle and high school students in the United States who have used e-cigarettes more than doubled from 2011 to 2012.
“The increased use of e-cigarettes by teens is deeply troubling,” CDC Director Tom Frieden said in announcing findings from the National Youth Tobacco Survey. “Nicotine is a highly addictive drug. Many teens who start with e-cigarettes may be condemned to struggling with a lifelong addiction to nicotine and conventional cigarettes.”
E-cigarettes are battery-powered devices that look like cigarettes but do not burn tobacco. Rather, they deliver nicotine, flavor and other chemicals in the form of a vapor. A starter kit, which typically includes two e-cigarettes, extra batteries and various nicotine cartridges, can cost $20 to $200. Because of the limited research into e-cigarette use, their risks and benefits remain uncertain and subject to widespread debate.
What’s more certain is their steady growth in popularity among adults and, according to the CDC survey, young people.
The survey found that the percentage of high school students who said they had used an e-cigarette jumped from 4.7 percent in 2011 to 10 percent in 2012. Nearly 3 percent of those students said they had used an e-cigarette in the past 30 days, up from 1.5 percent a year earlier. Use also doubled among middle school students, the CDC reported.
All told, more than 1.78 million middle and high school students nationwide had tried e-cigarettes in 2012, the agency said.
Perhaps most troubling for public health advocates, the survey found that more than three-quarters of middle and high school students who had used e-cigarettes within the past month also had smoked conventional cigarettes during the same period. About 1 in 5 middle school students who reported using e-cigarettes said they had never tried conventional cigarettes.
The CDC’s findings are in line with a more recent survey conducted in Florida that found that more than 4 percent of middle-schoolers and 12 percent of high-schoolers had tried e-cigarettes — figures that have risen dramatically over the past two years.
Big U.S. tobacco companies have begun scooping up e-cigarette manufacturers with an eye toward a not-so-distant future, when, some analysts say, sales of e-cigarettes could eclipse those of conventional cigarettes. This year alone, tobacco giants such as Lorillard, Altria and Reynolds have begun wading into the e-cigarette market. E-cigarette use also has boomed in Europe in recent years.
Anti-smoking activists say that the rise in the popularity has happened in part because the devices are largely unregulated and cultivate an image as a cooler, less harmful alternative to regular cigarettes….http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/e-cigarette-use-among-middle-and-high-school-students-skyrockets-cdc-data-show/2013/09/05/77d1839c-1632-11e3-a2ec-b47e45e6f8ef_story.html?
For a contra view, see Viewpoint: Leave Junior Alone About His E-Cigs http://ideas.time.com/2013/09/06/viewpoint-leave-junior-alone-about-his-e-cigs/
Family Doctor.org has some excellent tips about quitting smoking at Tobacco Addiction | Treatment:
How can I stop smoking?
You’ll have the best chance of stopping if you do the following:
•Get ready.
•Get support and encouragement.
•Learn how to handle stress and the urge to smoke.
•Get medication and use it correctly.
•Be prepared for relapse.
•Keep trying.
Steps to make quitting easier:
•Pick a stop date. Choose a date 2 to 4 weeks from today so you can get ready to quit. If possible, choose a time when things in your life will change, like when you’re about to start a break from school. Or just pick a time when you don’t expect any extra stress at school, work or home. For example, quit after final exams, not during them.
•Make a list of the reasons why you want to quit. Keep the list on hand so you can look at it when you have a nicotine craving.
•Keep track of where, when and why you smoke. You may want to make notes for a week or so to know ahead of time when and why you crave a cigarette. Plan what you’ll do instead of smoking (see list above for ideas). You may also want to plan what you’ll say to people who pressure you to smoke.
•Throw away all of your tobacco. Clean out your room if you have smoked there. Throw away your ashtrays and lighters–anything that you connect with your smoking habit.
•Tell your friends that you’re quitting. Ask them not to pressure you about smoking. Find other things to do with them besides smoking.
•When your stop date arrives, STOP. Plan little rewards for yourself for each tobacco-free day, week or month. For example, buy yourself a new shirt or ask a friend to see a movie with you.
What about nicotine replacement products or medicine to help me stop smoking?
Nicotine replacement products are ways to take in nicotine without smoking. These products come in several forms: gum, patch, nasal spray, inhaler and lozenge. You can buy the nicotine gum, patch and lozenge without a prescription from your doctor. Nicotine replacement works by lessening your body’s craving for nicotine and reducing withdrawal symptoms. This lets you focus on the changes you need to make in your habits and environment. Once you feel more confident as a nonsmoker, dealing with your nicotine addiction is easier.

Prescription medicines such as bupropion and varenicline help some people stop smoking. These medicines do not contain nicotine, but help you resist your urges to smoke.

Talk to your doctor about which of these products is likely to give you the best chance of success. For any of these products to work, you must carefully follow the directions on the package. It’s very important that you don’t smoke while using nicotine replacement products.

How can I get support and encouragement?
Tell your family and friends what kind of help you need. Their support will make it easier for you to stop smoking. Also, ask your family doctor to help you develop a plan for stopping smoking. He or she can give you information on telephone hotlines, such as 1-800-QUIT-NOW (784-8669), or self-help materials that can be very helpful. Your doctor can also recommend a stop-smoking program. These programs are often held at local hospitals or health centers.

Give yourself rewards for stopping smoking. For example, with the money you save by not smoking, buy yourself something special.

Remember, you will need some help to stop smoking. Nine out of 10 smokers who try to go “cold turkey” fail because nicotine is so addictive. But it is easy to find help to quit.
http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/diseases-conditions/tobacco-addiction/treatment.html
Prevention is the best course of action.
Resources:
Smokeless Tobacco http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=KidsHealth&lic=1&ps=207&cat_id=20138&article_set=20424

A Tool to Quit Smoking Has Some Unlikely Critics

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COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
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The 0/09/13 Joy Jar

8 Sep

Some individuals are special not only because of their lives, but the words that they leave as a legacy. Such a person was Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa (baptized August 27, 1910, in Skopje, Macedonia) taught in India for 17 years before she experienced her 1946 “call within a call” to devote herself to caring for the sick and poor. Her order established a hospice; centers for the blind, aged, and disabled; and a leper colony. She was summoned to Rome in 1968, and in 1979 received the Nobel Peace Prize for her humanitarian work. http://www.biography.com/people/mother-teresa-9504160
http://www.motherteresa.org/layout.html

Today’s deposit into the Joy Jar is the great gift of Mother Teresa’s life.

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
Mother Teresa

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action.
Mother Teresa

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.
Mother Teresa

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
Mother Teresa

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Mother Teresa

We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
Mother Teresa

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Mother Teresa

Peace begins with a smile.
Mother Teresa

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones – the ones at home.
Mother Teresa

If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
Mother Teresa

We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.
Mother Teresa

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
Mother Teresa

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
Mother Teresa

Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.
Mother Teresa

The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between.
Mother Teresa

Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.
Mother Teresa

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa

Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
Mother Teresa

Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.
Mother Teresa

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.
Mother Teresa

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go.
Mother Teresa

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God – the rest will be given.
Mother Teresa

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
Mother Teresa

I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?
Mother Teresa

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
Mother Teresa

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it.
Mother Teresa

Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
Mother Teresa

Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus.
Mother Teresa

Jesus Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
Mother Teresa

There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in – that we do it to God, to Christ, and that’s why we try to do it as beautifully as possible.
Mother Teresa

There must be a reason why some people can afford to live well. They must have worked for it. I only feel angry when I see waste. When I see people throwing away things that we could use.
Mother Teresa

I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn’t touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
Mother Teresa

Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them.
Mother Teresa

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa_2.html#PPAL8gtCpxCfekKs.99

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The 09/08/13 Joy Jar

8 Sep

Moi was walking down the street when she observed a guy jogging with his pup and the doggie was keeping in step, tail wagging with a smile. There is nothing more beautiful than a happy dog. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is happy dogs.

Happy Quotes About Dogs
“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
Charles Schulz

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
Colette
“Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”
Alfred A. Montapert
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”
Ben Williams
“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
Will Rogers
“The average dog is a nicer person then the average person.”
Andy Rooney
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
Gandhi
“I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.”
Gilda Radner

Read more: http://greathappyquotes.com/happy-quotes-about-dogs/#ixzz2eFMhNsz9

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It’s ALL about ME, Pledge of Allegiance case: Doe v. Acton-Boxborough Regional School District

8 Sep

Here’s today’s COMMENT FROM AN OLD FART:

The world knows we do know how to save it. We — even we here — hold the power, and bear the responsibility. In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free — honorable alike in what we give, and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just — a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless. [Emphasis Added]
Abraham Lincoln
Annual Message to Congress — Concluding Remarks
http://showcase.netins.net/web/creative/lincoln/speeches/congress.htm
Washington, D.C.
December 1, 1862

Brian M. Rosenthal of the Seattle Times wrote an excellent report in the Seattle Times about the flap involving whether students at John Stanford International School will be required to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Keep in mind that both Washington State law and Seattle School District policy require the saying of the Pledge. In, Pledge of Allegiance sparks controversy at John Stanford, Rosenthal quotes parent, Haley Sides:

When Haley Sides moved to Seattle after four years in the Air Force, she chose to settle in Wallingford so her 6-year-old daughter could attend John Stanford International School — an educational community promoting the same type of multiculturalism Sides has tried to instill in her half-Jamaican daughter.
Sides was outraged when the school’s new principal announced this week that students will be asked to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of each day. The practice, which has long been mandated by district policy and state law but has not traditionally been observed at John Stanford, will start Monday.
“It pains me to think that at a school that emphasizes thinking globally we would institute something that makes our children think that this country alone is where their allegiance lies,” said Sides, her voice oscillating between disappointment and anger. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016575845_pledge22m.html

Well, excuse moi. Girlfriend, you happen to live in this country which still has the goal of educating children no matter their gender, race, or creed. In many countries YOUR daughter would not be afforded the opportunity to attend a primary school and college wouldn’t even be a consideration.

Mark Walsh reported in the Education Week article, Massachusetts High Court Weighs Pledge of Allegiance in Schools:

A lawyer for a group of atheist and humanist families argued before the highest court of Massachusetts that a state law requiring public schools to lead daily recitations of the Pledge of Allegiance violates the state constitution.
“This case presents a classic equal-protection situation where an unpopular and wrongly vilified minority faces obvious official discrimination,” David A. Niose told the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court on Sept. 4.
A family identified as the Does, with parents and three school-aged children described as atheists and humanists, challenged the state law requiring the pledge in schools because of the inclusion of the words “under God.”
The children have not been required to recite the pledge themselves, in keeping with the U.S. Supreme Court’s 1943 decision in West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette. But the family argues that schools conduct a patriotic exercise that “exalts and validates” one religious view—a belief in God—while marginalizing their “religious views” on atheism and humanism, as their legal brief puts it.
“By inserting ‘under God’ language into the pledge, we have a pledge where children, every morning, are pledging their national unity and loyalty in an indoctrinational format, in a way that validates God belief as truly patriotic and actually invalidates atheism as second-class citizenry at best and downright unpatriotic at worst,” Niose told the Massachusetts high court.
(The oral arguments in Doe v. Acton-Boxborough Regional School District are available in video form at the Web site of the Supreme Judicial Court, which is where I observed them.)
The Does, joined by the American Humanist Association, are challenging the Massachusetts law under the state constitution’s equal-protection guarantee, not as a violation of the U.S. Constitution’s prohibition on any government establishment of religion or its guarantee of free exercise of religion.
The U.S. Supreme Court famously took up a case involving an establishment challenge to school-led recitations of the pledge. But in Elk Grove Unified School District v. Newdow, the court held in 2004 that an atheist father who had challenged the practice in his daughter’s school lacked standing because he did not have custody of the girl.
That atheist, Michael A. Newdow, organized a new challenge that included another family, and that suit led to a 2010 decision by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, in San Francisco, that school recitations of the pledge were predominantly patriotic exercises and did not violate the establishment clause.
Later that year, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit, in Boston, upheld a New Hampshire law that requires schools to set aside time for teachers to lead the pledge.
In the Doe case, a Massachusetts trial court held that school recitations of the pledge did not violate the rights of the atheist and humanist children under the state’s Equal Rights Amendment.
During Tuesday’s arguments before the state high court, the lawyer for the Acton-Boxborough district said that the pledge is not inherently religious and the recitations of it do not create a disadvantaged class of religious-minority students….
http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/school_law/2013/09/massachusetts_high_court_weigh.html?intc=es

Here is the video:

http://www2.suffolk.edu/sjc/archive/2013/SJC_11317.html

What do the remarks of President Lincoln have to do with the flap involving the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance flap at John Stanford International School in Seattle or in Massachusetts? It is about developing the Common Good. Whether one believes the cause of the Civil War was to eliminate slavery or not, the war was fought to keep a fragile union in-tact. In much of the world, tribes or clans are the governing authorities. Far from being an idyllic life governed by the romantic concept of the naïve of rule by “Noble Savages,” these clans and tribes often dispense brutal and harsh “justice.” See, Rosseau and the Noble Savage Myth: http://pages.uoregon.edu/jboland/rousseau.html Because of many disparate cultures, many countries are in the midst of civil wars or in danger of breaking apart.

It is fascinating to moi that so many of those who claim the other side is intolerant are just as intolerant. True tolerance does not involve giving up one’s beliefs or demanding that others sacrifice their beliefs. Sometimes it involves listening with courtesy to ideas that you will never agree with. Often it involves acting with gasp, decorum. This country is a nation of immigrants, some were the original aboriginal people, others voluntarily immigrated, still others were brought here as slaves and others fled their homes because of repression. We’re all here together. There have to be some common cultural norms so that those with different cultures and histories can peacefully co-exist. The U.S. Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and certain ideas which have evolved over time like public education are examples of the glue that can hold disparate groups together. The Pledge of Allegiance is another example of the common cultural experience. Of course, some quibble with the phrase, “Under God.” Let’s go back to the concept of tolerance. Dictionary.com defines tolerance:

noun
1.
a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions,practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’sown;freedom from bigotry.
2.
a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.
3.
interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one’s own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tolerance

The people who find the Pledge so intolerable probably would not have understood President Lincoln’s preservation of the “Union.” Unlike President Lincoln who understood the power of words and symbolism, for whom the “Union” was all about US. The permanently aggrieved often see the world in terms of ME.

In the final analysis, for many who are so excised by the Pledge, it is not about you or US, but it is about ME.

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

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The 09/07/13 Joy Jar

7 Sep

Moi loves Saturdays because she is generally doing whatever pops into her head or whatever happens. There is generally no agenda. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is Saturday.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Bill Watterson

There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
Rod Schmidt

The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
Unknown

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy.
You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday.
No wonder you feel that lost sensation.
You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation.
Ogden Nash, about weekends

Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.
Lyndon B. Johnson

How pleasant is Saturday night,
When I’ve tried all the week to be good,
And not spoke a word that was bad,
And obliged everyone that I could.
~Nancy Sproat

Always strive to excel, but only on weekends.
Richard Rorty

Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.
Ogden Nash

“Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have “plans.”
Mike Birbiglia

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The 09/06/13 Joy Jar

7 Sep

Moi was riding the bus when an imposing elder American Native got on, of what tribe, moi could not tell. Then another elder got on, from the other side of the world – possibility from Samoa, but definitely from Polynesia. There was something deeply spiritual about these two gentlemen from different parts of the world. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is the wisdom of our native peoples.

“A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.”
George Bernard Shaw

“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government
take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”
Henry Ford

“Our job is to be an awake people…utterly conscious, to attend to our world.”
Louis Owens

The Great Spirit is in all things: he is in the air we breathe. The Great Spirit is our Father, but the earth is our mother. She nourishes us; that which we put into the ground she returns to us
Big Thunder (Bedagi) Wabanaki Algonquin

And so do not forget.Every Dawn as it comes is a holy event and everyday is holy, for the light comes from “WAKAN-TANKA” And Also you Must remeber that the Two-leggeds and All other peoples who Stand upon this Earth are Sacred and Should be Treated as Such
“White Buffalo Woman” Sioux Sacred Woman, quoted by Black Elk , (Oglala Sioux)1947.

The life of an Indian is like the wings of the air. That is why you notice the hawk knows how to get his prey. The Indian is like that. The hawk swoops down on its prey; so does the Indian. In his lament he is like an animal. For instance, the coyote is sly; so is the Indian. The eagle is the same. That is why the Indian is always feathered up: he is a relative to the wings of the air.
Black Elk, Oglala

You have noticed that everything as Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round….. The Sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours… Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
Black Elk, Oglala

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Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia study: Parent’s attitudes determine ADHD treatment

6 Sep

Many parents will be presented with a diagnosis of ADHD regarding their child. Yahoo medical reported in the article, Top 10 Myths About ADHD:

Myth #1: Only kids have ADHD.
Although about 10% of kids 5 to 17 years old have been diagnosed with ADHD, at least 4% of adults have it, too — and probably many more, since adult ADHD is often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. That’s partly because people think only kids get it.

Myth #2: All kids “outgrow” ADHD.
Not nearly always. Up to 70% of children with ADHD continue to have trouble with it in adulthood, which can create relationship problems, money troubles, work strife, and a rocky family life.

Myth #3: Medication is the only treatment for ADHD.
Medication can be useful in managing ADHD symptoms, but it’s not a cure. And it’s not the only treatment. Lifestyle changes, counseling, and behavior modification can significantly improve symptoms as well. Several studies suggest that a combination of ADHD treatments works best.

Myth #4: People who have ADHD are lazy and lack intelligence and willpower.
This is totally not true. In fact, ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence or determination. It’s a neurobehavioral disorder caused by changes in brain chemicals and the way the brain works. It presents unique challenges, but they can be overcome — which many successful people have done. Even Albert Einstein is said to have had symptoms of ADHD.

Myth #5: ADHD isn’t a real disorder.
Not so. Doctors and mental-health professionals agree that ADHD is a biological disorder that can significantly impair functioning. An imbalance in brain chemicals affects brain areas that regulate behavior and emotion. This is what produces ADHD symptoms.

Myth #6: Bad parenting causes ADHD.
Absolutely not! ADHD symptoms are caused by brain-chemical imbalances (see #4 and #5) that make it hard to pay attention and control impulses. Good parenting skills help children deal with their symptoms.

Myth #7: Kids with ADHD are always hyper.
Not always. ADHD comes in three “flavors”: predominantly inattentive; predominantly hyperactive-impulsive; and combined, which is a mix of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. Although kids with hyperactive-impulsive or combined ADHD may be fidgety and restless, kids with inattentive ADHD are not hyper.

Myth #8: Too much TV time causes ADHD.
Not really. But spending excessive amounts of time watching TV or playing video games could trigger the condition in susceptible individuals. And in kids and teens who already have ADHD, spending hours staring at electronic screens may make symptoms worse.

Myth #9: If you can focus on certain things, you don’t have ADHD.
It’s not that simple. Although it’s true that people with ADHD have trouble focusing on things that don’t interest them, there’s a flip side to the disorder. Some people with ADHD get overly absorbed in activities they enjoy. This symptom is called hyperfocus. It can help you be more productive in activities that you like, but you can become so focused that you ignore responsibilities you don’t like.

Myth #10: ADHD is overdiagnosed.
Nope. If anything, ADHD is underdiagnosed and undertreated. Many children with ADHD grow up to be adults with ADHD. The pressures and responsibilities of adulthood often exacerbate ADHD symptoms, leading adults to seek evaluation and help for the first time. Also, parents who have children with ADHD may seek treatment only after recognizing similar symptoms in themselves.
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/top-10-myths-about-adhd-2528710.html

Whether drug or behavior therapy is chosen to treat ADHD depends upon the goals of the parents.

Genevra Pittman reported in the article, ADHD Treatment: Parents’ Goals Tied To Choice Of Behavior Therapy Or Medication (STUDY):

(Reuters Health) – Parents’ goals and concerns for their children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder may influence their decision to start behavior therapy or medication, according to a new study that researchers say supports a shared decision-making approach to ADHD treatment.
Researchers found parents who were focused on their child’s academic achievement were twice as likely to have the child started on medications, which include Adderall and Ritalin, as other parents.
Parents who expressed goals of improved behavior and interpersonal relationships were 60 percent more likely to start behavior therapy – which involves parents meeting with a counselor to learn how to manage a child’s behavior.
“Studies like this really suggest that taking a shared decision-making approach may be one way to match the kids for whom (treatment) is warranted to the best treatment,” Dr. Alexander Fiks, from The Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, said.
“For parents, the real thing is to ask pediatricians to really explain the pluses and minuses of all of the different options, and to make sure they can articulate what they’re really most hoping to achieve,” Fiks, the study’s lead author, told Reuters Health.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/02/adhd-treatment-parents-goals_n_3857116.html?utm_hp_ref=email_share

The medical Xpress article, Engaging parents leads to better treatments for children with adhd reported about the ADHD study:

Pediatricians and researchers at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s(CHOP) have developed a first-of-its kind tool to help parents and health care providers better treat ADHD (attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder). The new, three-part survey helps steer families and doctors toward “shared decision-making”, an approach proven to improve healthcare results in adults, but not widely used in pediatric settings. The results of the CHOP study are published in the journal Academic Pediatrics.
“Shared decision-making in health care means that doctors and families make decisions together. Doctors contribute their professional knowledge, and families weigh their values and personal experience,” explained lead author Alexander Fiks, M.D., M.S.C.E, an urban primary care pediatrician at CHOP and a faculty member at CHOP’s PolicyLab. “We chose to focus on ADHD for this study, because it is a relatively common diagnosis with two recommended treatment options – prescription medication and behavioral therapy – that require the family to make decisions about what will work best for them. Choosing a treatment that doesn’t ‘fit’ can lead to unsuccessful results. We wanted to see if we could create a tool to help guide families and physicians through this process.”
According to a study published earlier this year, the number of physician outpatient visits in which ADHD was diagnosed in children under age 18 was 10.4 million. Psychostimulants were used in 87 percent of treatments prescribed during those visits.
The CHOP study involved 237 parents of children aged 6-12 who were diagnosed with ADHD within the past 18 months. Using a combination of parent interviews, current research, and input from parent advocates and professional experts, researchers developed a standardized three-part questionnaire to help parents define and prioritize their goals for treatment; attitudes toward medication; and comfort with behavioral therapies. The completed survey serves as a guide to support families and health care providers to reach the most effective and workable treatment for a child’s ADHD.
“It’s important to know whether a parent’s primary goal is to keep a child from getting in trouble at school, improve academic performance, or maintain more peace with family members or peers,” said Fiks. “We also need to learn about the family’s lifestyle and attitudes toward behavioral therapy and medication. All of these factor into making the best treatment decision for each individual child and family.” http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-10-engaging-parents-treatments-children-adhd.html

Citation:

Contrasting parents’ and pediatricians’ perspectives on shared decision-making in ADHD.
Fiks AG, Hughes CC, Gafen A, Guevara JP, Barg FK.
Source
Pediatric Research Consortium, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, 3535 Market St, Room 1546, Philadelphia, PA 19104, USA. fiks@email.chop.edu
Abstract
OBJECTIVE:
The goal was to compare how parents and clinicians understand shared decision-making (SDM) in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a prototype for SDM in pediatrics.
METHODS:
We conducted semi-structured interviews with 60 parents of children 6 to 12 years of age with ADHD (50% black and 43% college educated) and 30 primary care clinicians with varying experience. Open-ended interviews explored how pediatric clinicians and parents understood SDM in ADHD. Interviews were taped, transcribed, and then coded. Data were analyzed by using a modified grounded theory approach.
RESULTS:
Parents and clinicians both viewed SDM favorably. However, parents described SDM as a partnership between equals, with physicians providing medical expertise and the family contributing in-depth knowledge of the child. In contrast, clinicians understood SDM as a means to encourage families to accept clinicians’ preferred treatment. These findings affected care because parents mistrusted clinicians whose presentation they perceived as biased. Both groups discussed how real-world barriers limit the consideration of evidence-based options, and they emphasized the importance of engaging professionals, family members, and/or friends in SDM. Although primary themes did not differ according to race, white parents more commonly received support from medical professionals in their social networks.
CONCLUSIONS:
Despite national guidelines prioritizing SDM in ADHD, challenges to implementing the process persist. Results suggest that, to support SDM in ADHD, modifications are needed at the practice and policy levels, including clinician training, incorporation of decision aids and improved strategies to facilitate communication, and efforts to ensure that evidence-based treatment is accessible.
PMID:
21172996
[PubMed – indexed for MEDLINE]
PMCID:
PMC3010085
Free PMC Article
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3010085/

The Centers for Disease Control provides great information in the article, Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):
Treatment

On This Page
• Medications
• Behavioral intervention strategies
• Parent Education and Support
• Behavior Treatment for Preschoolers
• ADHD and School
• Related Pages
My Child Has Been Diagnosed with ADHD – Now What?
It is understandable for parents to have concerns when their child is diagnosed with ADHD, especially about treatments. It is important for parents to remember that while ADHD can’t be cured, it can be successfully managed. There are many treatment options, so parents and doctors should work closely with everyone involved in the child’s treatment — teachers, coaches, therapists, and other family members. Taking advantage of all the resources available will help you guide your child towards success. Remember, you are your child’s strongest advocate!
In most cases, ADHD is best treated with a combination of medication and behavior therapy. Good treatment plans will include close monitoring, follow-ups and any changes needed along the way.
Following are treatment options for ADHD:
Behavior Treatment for Preschoolers
Click here to learn more »
• Medications
• Behavioral intervention strategies
• Parent training
• ADHD and school

To go to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) policy statement on the treatment of school-aged children with ADHD, visit the Recommendations page.
Medications
Medication can help a child with ADHD in their everyday life and may be a valuable part of a child’s treatment. Medication is one option that may help better control some of the behavior problems that have led to trouble in the past with family, friends and at school.
Several different types of medications may be used to treat ADHD:
• Stimulants are the best-known and most widely used treatments. Between 70-80 percent of children with ADHD respond positively to these medications.
• Nonstimulants were approved for treating ADHD in 2003. This medication seems to have fewer side effects than stimulants and can last up to 24 hours.
Medications can affect children differently, where one child may respond well to one medication, but not another. When determining the best treatment, the doctor might try different medications and doses, so it is important to work with your child’s doctor to find the medication that works best for your child.
For more information on treatments, please click one of the following links:
National Resource Center on ADHD
National Institute of Mental Health
Behavioral Therapy
Research shows that behavioral therapy is an important part of treatment for children with ADHD. ADHD affects not only a child’s ability to pay attention or sit still at school, it also affects relationships with family and how well they do in their classes. Behavioral therapy is another treatment option that can help reduce these problems for children and should be started as soon as a diagnosis is made.
Following are examples that might help with your child’s behavioral therapy:
• Create a routine. Try to follow the same schedule every day, from wake-up time to bedtime.
• Get organized . Put schoolbags, clothing, and toys in the same place every day so your child will be less likely to lose them.
• Avoid distractions. Turn off the TV, radio, and computer, especially when your child is doing homework.
• Limit choices. Offer a choice between two things (this outfit, meal, toy, etc., or that one) so that your child isn’t overwhelmed and overstimulated.
• Change your interactions with your child. Instead of long-winded explanations and cajoling, use clear, brief directions to remind your child of responsibilities.
• Use goals and rewards. Use a chart to list goals and track positive behaviors, then reward your child’s efforts. Be sure the goals are realistic—baby steps are important!
• Discipline effectively. Instead of yelling or spanking, use timeouts or removal of privileges as consequences for inappropriate behavior.
• Help your child discover a talent. All kids need to experience success to feel good about themselves. Finding out what your child does well — whether it’s sports, art, or music — can boost social skills and self-esteem.
Parent Education and Support
Parent education and support are other important parts of treatment for a child with ADHD. Children with ADHD might not respond as well as other children to the usual parenting practices, so experts recommend additional parent education. This approach has been successful in teaching parents how to help their children become better organized, develop problem-solving skills, and cope with their ADHD symptoms.
Parent education can be conducted in groups or with individual families and is offered by therapists or in special classes. Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) offers a unique educational program to help parents and individuals with ADHD navigate the challenges of ADHD across the lifespan. Find more information about CHADD’s “Parent to Parent” program by visiting CHADD’s website .
Behavior Treatment for Preschoolers
The 2011 clinical practice guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that doctors prescribe behavior interventions that are evidence based as the first line of treatment for preschool-aged children (4–5 years of age) with ADHD. Parents or teachers can provide this treatment.
The Agency for Health Care Research and Quality (AHRQ) conducted a review in 2010 of all existing studies on treatment options for preschoolers. The review found enough evidence to recommend parent behavioral interventions as a good treatment option for preschoolers with disruptive behavior in general and as helpful for those with ADHD symptoms.
The AHRQ review found that effective parenting programs help parents develop a positive relationship with their child, teach them about how children develop, and help them manage negative behavior with positive discipline. The review also found four programs for parents of preschoolers that include these key components:
• Triple P (Positive Parenting of Preschoolers program),
• Incredible Years Parenting Program
• Parent-Child Interaction Therapy
• New Forest Parenting Program—Developed specifically for parents of children with ADHD [Abstract ] [Authors ]
Read the full AHRQ report here .
ADHD and the Classroom
Just like with parent training, it is important for teachers to have the needed skills to help children manage their ADHD. However, since the majority of children with ADHD are not enrolled in special education classes, their teachers will most likely be regular education teachers who might know very little about ADHD and could benefit from assistance and guidance.
Here are some tips to share with teachers for classroom success:
• Use a homework folder for parent-teacher communications
• Make assignments clear
• Give positive reinforcement
• Be sensitive to self-esteem issues
• Involve the school counselor or psychologist
What Every Parent Should Know…
As your child’s most important advocate, you should become familiar with your child’s medical, legal, and educational rights. Kids with ADHD might be eligible for special services or accommodations at school under the Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act (IDEA) and an anti-discrimination law known as Section 504. To learn more about Section 504, click here .
Related Pages
• Child Development
• Positive Parenting Tips
• Injury, Violence, and Safety
• Safe and Healthy Kids and Teens
• CDC’s National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/treatment.html

A Healthy Child In A Healthy Family Who Attends A Healthy School In A Healthy Neighborhood. ©

If you suspect that your child might have ADHD, you should seek an evaluation from a competent professional who has knowledge of this specialized area of medical practice.

Related:
Studies: ADHD drugs don’t necessarily improve academic performance

Studies: ADHD drugs don’t necessarily improve academic performance

ADHD coaching to improve a child’s education outcome

ADHD coaching to improve a child’s education outcome

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:
COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©
http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda ©
https://drwilda.com/

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The 09/05/13 Joy Jar

5 Sep

Moi is over three quarters through the ‘Joy Jar’ exercise of finding something to be grateful for every day. What moi saw when she looked at a tape measure recently was not only measurements which relate to things, but it was a metaphor about measuring, a life. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is thinking about how a life measures in terms of quality.

“We shall see but little way if we require to understand what we see. How few things can a man measure with the tape of his understanding! How many greater things might he be seeing in the meanwhile!”
Henry David Thoreau

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
Abraham Lincoln

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
David Star Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair

Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Thomas Paine

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Buddha

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein

Character is higher than intellect.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.
Chinese Proverb

A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
Charles Evans Hughes

Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.
Aristotle

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University of Pittsburgh study: Harsh verbal discipline is not effective

5 Sep

Moi really didn’t want to touch that “Tiger Mom” kerfuffle because having read some selected passages culled from excerpts of Amy Chua’s “memoirs” of raising her daughters moi’s first thought was that girlfriend possibly needed her medication adjusted. Annie Murphy Paul provides a more balanced approach to Ms. Chua’s biography in the Time article, “Tiger Moms’, Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer?

Most surprising of all to Chua’s detractors may be the fact that many elements of her approach are supported by research in psychology and cognitive science. Take, for example, her assertion that American parents go too far in insulating their children from discomfort and distress. Chinese parents, by contrast, she writes, “assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.” In the 2008 book A Nation of Wimps, author Hara Estroff Marano, editor-at-large of Psychology Today magazine, marshals evidence that shows Chua
is correct. “Research demonstrates that children who are protected from grappling with difficult tasks don’t develop what psychologists call ‘mastery experiences,’ ” Marano explains. “Kids who have this well-earned sense of mastery are more optimistic and decisive; they’ve learned that they’re capable of overcoming adversity and achieving goals.” Children who have never had to test their abilities, says Marano, grow into “emotionally brittle” young adults who are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
Another parenting practice with which Chua takes issue is Americans’ habit, as she puts it, of “slathering praise on their kids for the lowest of tasks — drawing a squiggle or waving a stick.” Westerners often laud their children as “talented” or “gifted,” she says, while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.
Dweck has conducted studies with hundreds of students, mostly early adolescents, in which experimenters gave the subjects a set of difficult problems from an IQ test. Afterward, some of the young people were praised for their ability: “You must be smart at this.” Others were praised for their effort: “You must have worked really hard.” The kids who were complimented on their intelligence were much more likely to turn down the opportunity to do a challenging new task that they could learn from. “They didn’t want to do anything that could expose their deficiencies and call into question their talent,” Dweck says. Ninety percent of the kids who were praised for their hard work, however, were eager to take on the demanding new exercise.
http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2043477,00.html

Still, some of Chua’s comments to her daughters are very hard to take and border on abusive in moi’s opinion. Paul reports that Chua is turning the dial back a degree.

Bonnie Rochman wrote the provocative Time article, Take This, Tiger Mom!

It’s been a year since the “Tiger mom” roared onto the scene, sharing how she compelled her kids to practice the piano for hours sans potty breaks and denied them frivolous activities like playdates.
In her best-selling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Yale professor Amy Chua made the case that overly indulgent parents — you know who you are: maybe you let your kids play the occasional video game or allow them to spend the night at a friend’s house — can beget only spoiled and unmotivated children.
Now a fellow academic — and Chinese mother — is refuting that tough-as-nails approach, urging parents to let kids be kids. Girls, it turns out, just wanna have fun. And so do boys.
Happiness is actually pretty important for children, says Desiree Baolian Qin, an assistant professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at Michigan State University.
In two upcoming papers accepted for publication, Qin and her co-authors have looked at the experiences of Chinese-American children and found that high-achieving Chinese students were more depressed and anxious than white children.
http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/17/take-this-tiger-mom/#ixzz1jsm3NUFu

The question is how to find a balance between “Tiger Mom” and phony self-esteem.

Science Daily reported in the article, Using Harsh Verbal Discipline With Teens Found to Be Harmful:

Many American parents yell or shout at their teenagers. A new longitudinal study has found that using such harsh verbal discipline in early adolescence can be harmful to teens later. Instead of minimizing teens’ problematic behavior, harsh verbal discipline may actually aggravate it.
The study, from researchers at the University of Pittsburgh and the University of Michigan, appears in the journal Child Development.
Harsh verbal discipline happens when parents use psychological force to cause a child to experience emotional pain or discomfort in an effort to correct or control behavior. It can vary in severity from yelling and shouting at a child to insulting and using words to humiliate. Many parents shift from physical to verbal discipline as their children enter adolescence, and harsh verbal discipline is not uncommon. A nationally representative survey found that about 90 percent of American parents reported one or more instances of using harsh verbal discipline with children of all ages; the rate of the more severe forms of harsh verbal discipline (swearing and cursing, calling names) directed at teens was 50 percent.
Few studies have looked at harsh verbal discipline in adolescence. This study found that when parents use it in early adolescence, teens suffer detrimental outcomes later. The children of mothers and fathers who used harsh verbal discipline when they were 13 suffered more depressive symptoms between ages 13 and 14 than their peers who weren’t disciplined in this way; they were also more likely to have conduct problems such as misbehaving at school, lying to parents, stealing, or fighting….
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/09/130904094024.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily%2Ftop_news+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Top+News%29&utm_content=FaceBook

Here is the press release from the University of Pittsburgh:

September 4, 2013
Yelling Doesn’t Help, May Harm Adolescents, Pitt-Led Study Finds
Impact of harsh verbal discipline similar to that of physical discipline, researchers report
Contact:
Adam Reger
reger@pitt.edu
412-624-4238
Cell: 412-802-5908
PITTSBURGH—Most parents who yell at their adolescent children wouldn’t dream of physically punishing their teens. Yet their use of harsh verbal discipline—defined as shouting, cursing, or using insults—may be just as detrimental to the long-term well-being of adolescents.
Ming-Te WangThat’s the main finding of a new study led by Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor of psychology in education in the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Education and of psychology in Pitt’s Kenneth P. Dietrich School of Arts and Sciences. The results were published online today in the journal Child Development.
Research has shown that a majority of parents use harsh verbal discipline at some point during their child’s adolescence. Relatively little research has been done, however, into understanding the effects of this kind of discipline.
The paper, coauthored by Sarah Kenny, a graduate student in the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, concludes that, rather than minimizing problematic behavior in adolescents, the use of harsh verbal discipline may in fact aggravate it. The researchers found that adolescents who had experienced harsh verbal discipline suffered from increased levels of depressive symptoms, and were more likely to demonstrate behavioral problems such as vandalism or antisocial and aggressive behavior.
The study is one of the first to indicate that harsh verbal discipline from parents can be damaging to developing adolescents.
Perhaps most surprising, Wang and Kenny found that the negative effects of verbal discipline within the two-year period of their study were comparable to the effects shown over the same period of time in other studies that focused on physical discipline.
“From that we can infer that these results will last the same way that the effects of physical discipline do because the immediate-to-two-year effects of verbal discipline were about the same as for physical discipline,” Wang said. Based on the literature studying the effects of physical discipline, Wang and Kenny anticipate similar long-term results for adolescents subjected to harsh verbal discipline.
Significantly, the researchers also found that “parental warmth”—i.e., the degree of love, emotional support, and affection between parents and adolescents—did not lessen the effects of the verbal discipline. The sense that parents are yelling at the child “out of love,” or “for their own good,” Wang said, does not mitigate the damage inflicted. Neither does the strength of the parent-child bond.
Even lapsing only occasionally into the use of harsh verbal discipline, said Wang, can still be harmful. “Even if you are supportive of your child, if you fly off the handle it’s still bad,” he said.
Another significant contribution of the paper is the finding that these results are bidirectional: the authors showed that harsh verbal discipline occurred more frequently in instances in which the child exhibited problem behaviors, and these same problem behaviors, in turn, were more likely to continue when adolescents received verbal discipline.
“It’s a vicious circle,” Wang said. “And it’s a tough call for parents because it goes both ways: problem behaviors from children create the desire to give harsh verbal discipline, but that discipline may push adolescents toward those same problem behaviors.”
The researchers report that parents who wish to modify the behavior of their teenage children would be better advised to communicate with them on an equal level, explaining their worries and rationale to them. Parenting programs, say the authors of the study, are well positioned to offer parents insight into the ineffectiveness of harsh verbal discipline, and to offer alternatives.
The researchers conducted the study in 10 public middle schools in eastern Pennsylvania over a two-year period, working with 967 adolescents and their parents. Students and their parents completed surveys over a period of two years on topics related to their mental health, child-rearing practices, the quality of the parent-child relationship, and general demographics.
Significantly, most of the students were from middle-class families. “There was nothing extreme or broken about these homes,” Wang stressed. “These were not ‘high-risk’ families. We can assume there are a lot of families like this—there’s an okay relationship between parents and kids, and the parents care about their kids and don’t want them to engage in problem behaviors.”
Males comprised 51 percent of the study subjects, while 54 percent were European American, 40 percent African American, and 6 percent from other ethnic backgrounds.
The paper, “Longitudinal Links Between Fathers’ and Mothers’ Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents’ Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms,” which appeared online in the journal Child Development on Sept. 4, is scheduled to appear in the March/April 2014 print issue of the journal. The research was supported by grants from the National Institute on Drug Abuse at the National Institutes of Health.

Citation:

The above story is based on materials provided by Society for Research in Child Development, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.
Note: Materials may be edited for content and length. For further information, please contact the source cited above.
________________________________________
Journal Reference:
1. Ming-Te Wang, Sarah Kenny. Longitudinal Links Between Fathers’ and Mothers’ Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents’ Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms. Child Development, 2013; DOI: 10.1111/cdev.12143

The question is how to find a balance between “Tiger Mom” and phony self-esteem.

In No one is perfect: People sometimes fail, moi said:
The Child Development Institute has a good article about how to help your child develop healthy self esteem. A discussion of values is often difficult, but the question the stage parent, over the top little league father, or out of control soccer mom should ask of themselves is what do you really and truly value? What is more important, your child’s happiness and self esteem or your fulfilling an unfinished part of your life through your child? Joe Jackson, the winner of the most heinous stage parent award saw his dreams fulfilled with the price of the destruction of his children’s lives. Most people with a healthy dose of self esteem and sanity would say this is too high a price.

Letting Go

Sarah Mahoney wrote a good article at Parents.Com http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting/self_esteem/ about four ways to let go of your kids and she describes her four steps, which she calls Independence Day. Newsweek also has an article on the fine art of letting go http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2006/05/21/the-fine-art-of-letting-go.html
Remember it is your child’s life and they should be allowed to realize their dreams, not yours.
https://drwilda.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/no-one-is-perfect-people-sometimes-fail/

The goal should be:

A healthy child in a healthy family who attends a healthy school in a healthy neighborhood ©

Related:

Is the self-esteem movement just another education fad?
https://drwilda.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/is-the-self-esteem-movement-just-another-education-fad/

‘Tiger mothers’ should tame parenting approach
http://esciencenews.com/articles/2012/01/10/tiger.mothers.should.tame.parenting.

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

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COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
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