Archive | October, 2013

The 10/07/13 Joy Jar

7 Oct

Moi is eating more nuts of all kinds lately as a healthier alternative to chips. There are quite a variety of nuts and they really taste good. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar” are the many variety of nuts.

God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.
Franz Kafka

I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
John Steinbeck

God often gives nuts to toothless people.
Matt Groening

“Worldly riches are like nuts; many a tooth is broke in cracking them, but never is the stomach filled with eating them.”
Rabbi Nachman

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.
Mike Royko

Mellow nuts have the hardest rind
Sir Walter Scott

Cranks live by theory, not by pure desire. They want votes, peace, nuts, liberty, and spinning-looms not because they love these things, as a child loves jam, but because they think they ought to have them. That is one element which makes the crank.
Rose Macaulay

“Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.”
Unknown

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Puberty is coming at an earlier age

6 Oct

Moi wrote in Teaching kids that babies are not delivered by UPS: It is time for some speak the truth, get down discussion. An acquaintance who practices family law told me this story about paternity. A young man left Seattle one summer to fish in Alaska. He worked on a processing boat with 30 or40 others. He had sex with this young woman. He returned to Seattle and then got a call from her saying she was pregnant. He had been raised in a responsible home and wanted to do the right thing for this child. His mother intervened and demanded a paternity test. To make a long story, short. He wasn’t the father. In the process of looking out for this kid’s interests, my acquaintance had all the men on the boat tested and none of the other “partners” was the father. Any man that doesn’t have a paternity test is a fool.
If you are a slut, doesn’t matter whether you are a male or female you probably shouldn’t be a parent.
How to tell if you are a slut?
1. If you are a woman and your sex life is like the Jack in the Box 24-hour drive through, always open and available. Girlfriend, you’re a slut.
2. If you are a guy and you have more hoes than Swiss cheese has holes. Dude, you need to get tested for just about everything and you are a slut.
Humans have free will and are allowed to choose how they want to live. What you do not have the right to do is to inflict your lifestyle on a child. So, the responsible thing for you to do is go to Planned Parenthood or some other outlet and get birth control for yourself and the society which will have to live with your poor choices. Many religious folks are shocked because I am mentioning birth control, but most sluts have few religious inklings or they wouldn’t be sluts. A better option for both sexes, if this lifestyle is a permanent option, is permanent birth control to lessen a contraception failure. People absolutely have the right to choose their particular lifestyle. You simply have no right to bring a child into your mess of a life. I observe people all the time and I have yet to observe a really happy slut. Seems that the lifestyle is devoid of true emotional connection and is empty. If you do find yourself pregnant, please consider adoption.
Let’s continue the discussion. Some folks may be great friends, homies, girlfriends, and dudes, but they make lousy parents. Could be they are at a point in their life where they are too selfish to think of anyone other than themselves, they could be busy with school, work, or whatever. No matter the reason, they are not ready and should not be parents. Birth control methods are not 100% effective, but the available options are 100% ineffective in people who are sexually active and not using birth control. So, if you are sexually active and you have not paid a visit to Planned Parenthood or some other agency, then you are not only irresponsible, you are Eeeevil. Why do I say that, you are playing Russian Roulette with the life of another human being, the child. You should not ever put yourself in the position of bringing a child into the world that you are unprepared to parent, emotionally, financially, and with a commitment of time. So, if you find yourself in a what do I do moment and are pregnant, you should consider adoption.
Why the rant? Live Science reports in the article, 1 in 6 Teen Moms Say They Didn’t Believe They Could Get Pregnant http://news.yahoo.com/1-6-teen-moms-didnt-believe-could-pregnant-202403188.html

Parents and guardians must have age-appropriate conversations with their children and communicate not only their values, but information about sex and the risks of sexual activity. https://drwilda.com/2012/01/22/teaching-kids-that-babies-are-not-delivered-by-ups/

Donisha Dansby reported in the NPR article, Puberty Is Coming Earlier, But That Doesn’t Mean Sex Ed Is:
‘Fifth Grade Is Way Too Late’

Dr. Louise Greenspan, a pediatric endocrinologist with Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco who is studying the causes and effects of early puberty, agrees. “I really feel like I’m on a mission now to make sure that people understand that teaching kids about puberty in fifth grade is way too late,” she says.

To be clear, Greenspan is not saying little kids should be learning about sex in school. Instead, she says they should get the message that being physically mature doesn’t mean they’re ready for adult relationships.

Greenspan also notes that kids who start puberty early don’t necessarily have a medical problem.

“But is it a disorder, as in, there’s something wrong with our environment or there’s something wrong with what’s happening in the world? Maybe,” she says. “Something’s changed. So the girls don’t have a disorder — but maybe our world does.”

Last spring, on the playground at San Francisco’s Flynn Elementary, fifth-grade students Mila and Isabel talked about the puberty class they were about to start. “I feel like it’s important to learn, but it’s sort of, like, an awkward lesson,” Isabel says.

So why don’t kids want to talk to their parents about periods and the other changes they’re experiencing?

“It’s just one of those kinds of things you don’t want to talk to your mom about,” Mila says. “It’s like boyfriends. You don’t want to talk to your mom about your boyfriend.”

“Because then they might be like, ‘Oh, my God, you’re growing up!’ ” Isabel adds.

But kids are growing up — often way before they even hear the word “puberty” in class.
http://www.npr.org/2013/10/01/226116537/pubertys-coming-earlier-but-that-doesnt-mean-sex-ed-is

Christian Nordqvist wrote What Is Puberty? What Is Early Puberty? What Is Late Puberty?

According to Nordqvist;

A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics and published in the October 2012 issue of Pediatrics, reported that American boys are reaching puberty between six months and two years earlier than a few decades ago. Doctors had already reported that girls were reaching puberty earlier.
What is the difference between male and female puberty?
• Girls start puberty about one to two years earlier than boys.
• Girls’ generally complete puberty in a shorter time than boys.
• Girls reach adult height and reproductive maturity approximately 4 years after the physical changes of puberty appear.
• Boys continue to grow for about 6 years after the first visible changes of puberty.
• A girl’s puberty general spans from the ages of 9 to 14.
• A boy’s puberty generally spans from the ages of 10 to 17. Experts say this longer span is probably why adult males are generally taller than adult females.
• Testosterone and androgen are the main male sex steroids. Testosterone produces all male changes related to virilization, such as a deepened voice, facial hair and the development of muscles. Estradiol also plays a role in male development, but much more in female development.
• Estrogen and estradiol are the main hormones that drive female development. Estradiol promotes the growth of the uterus and breasts. Levels of estradiol rise earlier in girls than in boys, and also reach higher levels in women than in men. Testosterone is also involved in female development, but to a much smaller degree, compared to male development.
What happens during a girl’s puberty?
• Sexual organs – the girl’s clitoris (a small and sensitive part of the female genitals which is part of the vulva) and the uterus (womb) will grow.
• Menstruation begins – one of the first things that happens during a girl’s puberty is the start of her monthly menstrual cycle. When periods start it means that the girl is becoming a woman and she can become pregnant.
• Breast changes – the girl’s breast will start to grow. A small and sometimes painful lump may be felt just below the nipple when her breasts start to develop – this is normal.
• Vaginal discharge – vaginal discharge may start or change.
• Body hair – hair will begin to grow in her pubic area – firstly along the labia (the lips that are part of the external female sexual organs, known as the vulva), and then under her arms and on her legs.
• Skin – as the girl’s oil and sweat glands grow her skin will become more oily and she will sweat more. During puberty it is helpful to teach girls about daily washing, and the use of deodorants. Acne is common among girls during puberty.
• Body shape and size – a girl’s body changes during puberty. Her hips will widen and her waist will be proportionally smaller. Extra fat will develop on her stomach and buttocks. Girls should not worry about this extra fat – they are part of normal female development and do not mean the girl is getting fat. Her arms, legs, hands and feet will grow – often faster than other parts of her body. It is not unusual for some girls to feel uncomfortable during this stage of development.
• Emotions – a girl’s emotions may change, especially around the time her period comes each month. These emotional roller-coaster type changes, which may include irritability, are mainly due to fluctuating hormone levels that occur during the menstrual cycle. If a girl finds her emotional changes become too strong she should consider talking to her doctor – she may be experiencing premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual tension (PMT). Health care professionals may be able to help either by prescribing medication or suggesting lifestyle changes. Emotional changes, including PMS are often relieved if the girl takes up regular physical exercise. It may help if the girl can talk to her mother, an older sibling, or another woman about the physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty.
What happens during a boy’s puberty?
• Scrotum, testicles and penis – the boy’s scrotum will begin to thin and redden and his testicles will grow. Later, usually around the age of 13 (this can vary) his penis will grow and lengthen while the testicles will continue to grow.
• Voice change – as the voice box (larynx) gets bigger and the muscles or vocal cords grow, the boy’s voice will “break” or “crack”. This is normal. Eventually the boy’s voice will become deeper.
• Wet dreams – boys may ejaculate during their sleep and wake up in the morning with damp sheets and pajamas. This does not mean the boy was having a sexual dream. It is important that his loved ones explain to him that they understand that he cannot prevent them from happening. Wet dreams are just part of growing up.
• Involuntary erections – during puberty boys will have spontaneous erections. These will occur without the penis being touched and without sexual thoughts triggering them. These may be embarrassing if they happen in public. This is a natural part of growing up.
• Breast enlargement – swelling of the breasts occurs with many boys during puberty. The boy may feel a bump under one or both nipples – they may feel tender, and sometimes painful. Eventually the swelling and pain will disappear. This is called pubertal gynecomastia and occurs because of hormonal changes during puberty.
• Skin – the boy’s skin will become more oily during puberty. He will also sweat much more. During puberty a boy’s oil and sweat glands are growing. During puberty it is helpful to teach boys about daily washing to keep the skin clean, and the use of deodorants. It is not uncommon for boys to develop acne during puberty.
• Body size – growth spurts occur during a boy’s puberty. This growth peaks at about two years after the onset of puberty. His arms, legs, hands and feet may grow faster than other parts of the body. During this time the boy may feel clumsier than usual. During puberty a boy’s total body fat content will start to drop proportionally to his total mass.
• Body hair – hair will start to grow around the pubic area, under his arms, on his legs and arms, and on his face. Facial hair usually starts around the upper lip and chin. This can be shaved off with a razor. Sometimes shaving can cause a rash, especially if the boy has sensitive skin. Using a shaving foam or gel may reduce the chances of getting a rash. Electric razors are less likely to cause cuts.
• Emotions – boys may experience mood swings; one moment they are laughing and then they suddenly feel like crying. Boys may also experience intense feelings of anger. This is partly due to the increased levels of hormones in their body, as well as the psychological aspects of coming to terms with all the physical changes that are taking place. It helps if the boy can talk to a family member, or a good friend. A US study revealed that teenage mood swings may be explained by biological changes in the adolescent brain.
What causes puberty?
• Genes – experts say that puberty starts with a single gene called KiSS1. This gene is present in our bodies at birth and produces another gene called GPR54. GPR54 lies dormant in the body for many years until kisspeptin – chemicals produced by the KiSS1 gene – activate it. Activated GPR54 stimulates the brain to produce GnRH (gonadotropin-releasing hormone) – a powerful hormone. GnRH causes other glands in the body, such as the testes in boys and ovaries in girls to release other hormones.
• Hormones – the testes produce testosterone which encourages the development of the testicles and penis, muscle growth, hair growth, and the deepening of the male voice. The female ovaries also produce testosterone, in much smaller amounts – and it is used to help maintain muscle mass and bone strength. The ovaries produce estradiol which stimulates breast growth, the female reproductive system, as well as regulating the monthly menstrual cycle.
• Triggers of puberty – experts believe environmental and/or genetic factors trigger puberty – even environmental toxins. Nutritional factors are also important, especially for girls. Overweight or obese girls tend to experience earlier puberty, compared to girls of normal weight, while underweight girls tend to start puberty later. Puberty among girls in North America, Western Europe, and several other countries is occurring at an earlier age probably because a higher percentage of them are overweight/obese than before. US scientists have shown that even being overweight as a toddler increases the chance that a girl will reach puberty early. Scientists are not sure whether the timing of puberty is affected by bodyweight in boys.
Diagnosing early or late puberty
A child should only visit a GP regarding his/her puberty if it starts unusually early or late. No signs of breast development by the age of 14 would be an indication of late puberty for girls – or if her breasts have developed but she has had not had a menstrual period by the age of 16. A lack of testicular development by the age of 14 would indicate late puberty for boys – also, if the penis and testicles have not yet reached full adult development since the beginning of puberty. http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/156451.php

Parents must be involved in the discussion of sex with their children and discuss THEIR values long before the culture has the chance to co-op the children. Moi routinely posts information about the vacuous and troubled lives of Sex and the City aficionados and troubled pop tarts like Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton. Kids need to know that much of the life style glamorized in the media often comes at a very high personal cost. Parents not only have the right, but the duty to communicate their values to their children.

Resources:
All about Puberty http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/body_stuff/puberty.html

What is Puberty for boys? http://www.eschooltoday.com/boys-and-puberty/all-about-boys-and-puberty.html

Girls and Puberty http://eschooltoday.com/girls-and-puberty/all-about-girls-and-puberty.html

Related:

Talking to your teen about risky behaviors https://drwilda.com/2012/06/07/talking-to-your-teen-about-risky-behaviors/

Many young people don’t know they are infected with HIV https://drwilda.com/tag/disproportionate-numbers-of-young-people-have-hiv-dont-know-it/

Dropout prevention: More schools offering daycare for students https://drwilda.com/2013/01/14/dropout-prevention-more-schools-offering-daycare-for-students/

Title IX also mandates access to education for pregnant students https://drwilda.com/2012/06/19/title-ix-also-mandates-access-to-education-for-pregnant-students/

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

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The 10/06/13 Joy Jar

6 Oct

“Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons.”
Jim Bishop

“With so many trees in the city, you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. This was the only truly sad time in Paris because it was unnatural. You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason.

In those days, though, the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed.”
Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

“Two sounds of autumn are unmistakable…the hurrying rustle of crisp leaves blown along the street…by a gusty wind, and the gabble of a flock of migrating geese.”
Hal Borland

“The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter woods.”
Henry Beston

“The tints of autumn…a mighty flower garden blossoming under the spell of the enchanter, frost.”
John Greenleaf Whittier

“I saw old Autumn in the misty morn
Stand shadowless like silence, listening
To silence, for no lonely bird would sing
Into his hollow ear from woods forlorn,
Nor lowly hedge nor solitary thorn; —
Shaking his languid locks all dewy bright
With tangled gossamer that fell by night,
Pearling his coronet of golden corn.”
Thomas Hood

“But you can’t plead with autumn. No. The midnight wind stalked through the woods, hooted to frighten you, swept everything away for the approaching winter, whirled the leaves. (“The North”)”
Yevgeny Zamyatin, We

“Fall colors are funny. They’re so bright and intense and beautiful. It’s like nature is trying to fill you up with color, to saturate you so you can stockpile it before winter turns everything muted and dreary.”
Siobhan Vivian, Same Difference

“Love the trees until their leaves fall off, then encourage them to try again next year.”
Chad Sugg

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The 10/05/13 Joy Jar

5 Oct

Today is a fabulous Fall day in Seattle. The sun is shining and there is a bit of underlying chill in the air. Passed by a building and there were dozens on birds on the roof just chillin. They almost looked like they needed sunglasses, but they were cool anyway. Today’s deposit into the “Joy Jar’ is the birds chillin on the roof.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.
Salvador Dali

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
Rabindranath Tagore

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
Lou Holtz

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.
Charlotte Bronte

Be like the bird who, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing she hath wings.
Victor Hugo

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
William Blake

I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.
e. e. cummings

It’s best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes.
Anne Baxter

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The socioemotional content of school is important

5 Oct

Moi wrote in College readiness: What are ‘soft skills’
Whether one calls success traits “emotional intelligence” or “soft skills” is really not important. The traits associated are those more likely to result in a successful outcome for the student.

Margaret Rouse defines “soft skills” in the post, Soft Skills:

Soft skills are personal attributes that enhance an individual’s interactions, job performance and career prospects. Unlike hard skills, which are about a person’s skill set and ability to perform a certain type of task or activity, soft skills are interpersonal and broadly applicable.
Soft skills are often described by using terms often associated with personality traits, such as:
o optimism
o common sense
o responsibility
o a sense of humor
o integrity
and abilities that can be practiced (but require the individual to genuinely like other people) such as:
o empathy
o teamwork
o leadership
o communication
o good manners
o negotiation
o sociability
o the ability to teach.
It’s often said that hard skills will get you an interview but you need soft skills to get (and keep) the job.
http://searchcio.techtarget.com/definition/soft-skills
https://drwilda.com/2012/11/14/college-readiness-what-are-soft-skills/

K-12 education must not only prepare students by teaching basic skills, but they must prepare students for training after high school, either college or vocational. There should not only be a solid education foundation established in K-12, but there must be more accurate evaluation of whether individual students are “college ready.”

Kathleen M. Cashin and Bruce S. Cooper commented in the Education Week opinion piece, Remaking Schools as Socioemotional Places:

How can students engage in the learning process if they feel isolated, a condition that affects many students and teachers alike? For teachers are often working in isolation. And students, when they stare at computers all day, are hardly interacting with teachers or peers.
A homeless student, Marlene, a junior in a large urban public high school, told one of us (Kathleen) her feelings about online learning in her school: “I didn’t like it. All the kids weren’t really doing anything. It was all ‘read a passage and answer the questions.’ It was very boring, and I was very upset.” Marlene had been shifted to a classroom where instruction was computer-based because her regular classroom teacher felt Marlene was too disruptive in the traditional class. But Marlene found the experience isolating, “like being in a shelter. I missed interaction with my teachers.”
“Schools have lost much of their full, rich, active curriculum in their rush to teach basic English and math.”
Tragically, many schools are becoming test-preparation factories where the human, interpersonal side of learning gets lost in the urgent routine of identifying test needs, problems, and distractions from achievement, for the sole purpose of improving “test results.” Often, this tendency comes in tandem with computer-based learning rather than the more personal pupil-teacher relationship.
The joy, love, caring, and fun of being a child in a classroom have been diminished by the need to raise test scores, at all costs.
We argue for the reinstatement of the socioemotional dimensions of education—what was once called, in the educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom’s words, “the affective domain,” where teachers built into a lesson and the curriculum the human feelings, needs, and aspirations of their students, along with the cognitive demands of the learning experience.
Children should be asked what their point of view is and what it could be—how they would feel if, for example, they adopted the perspective of a struggling heroine in a story. Kids must also be encouraged to connect with one another—and the text—to start determining what’s true and real. This process of identifying and understanding is sometimes called critical thinking.
Thus, cognitive learning must be coupled with human, social, and emotional experiences, as they all go together. And schools must link the socioemotional with the cognitive by making these two changes:
1. Reinstate teaching and learning as the primary activity in schools. Children in such an environment would be encouraged to communicate, take challenges, and even learn to take risks without fear of failure and humiliation. In Ellen Galinsky’s 2010 book Mind in the Making, she writes that “Sad + Mad = You Can’t Add” is just another way of saying that children’s emotional status greatly affects their ability to learn….
Dropped or diminished in these program are classes in the arts, physical education, vocational-technical education, and some hands-on sciences and social studies. These courses are disappearing because they are not included in testing and, consequently, have become less valued.
2. Ensure that online learning does not supplant teacher and student interactions in the classroom. Online learning is here to stay, as it allows students to move at their own pace and drill down in areas of interest.
Online learning is everywhere and can reach even those students who cannot or will not come to school. However, it has several potential disadvantages, including: removing or minimizing the human interactions that are important to real learning; taking the joy and camaraderie out of education; isolating and limiting students’ voices and involvement; and making education lifeless and dull.
We believe that cutting costs, constricting classroom life to memorization and test preparation, and replacing human contact with online interaction hurt the growth and learning of the whole child, turning education into a “bucket to be filled” and not “a fire to be kindled,” to paraphrase a famous saying.
We must take the steps above to stop the decline of real education and to build the ability of schools to meet the socioemotional needs of our children and their teachers once again. And when cost-cutting policies are being implemented, programs for the neediest children cannot be first on the chopping block.
The key is to bring school leaders and the staff together, in an exciting, focused way….
http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2013/10/02/06cashin.h33.html?tkn=YUCCmOYaREWJwyDohNbI9M2DnLCeBLLJXpdH&cmp=clp-sb-ascd

The Child Development Institute describes the stages of Stages of Social-Emotional Development by Erik Erikson:

Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development
1. Learning Basic Trust Versus Basic Mistrust (Hope)
Chronologically, this is the period of infancy through the first one or two years of life. The child, well – handled, nurtured, and loved, develops trust and security and a basic optimism. Badly handled, he becomes insecure and mistrustful.
2. Learning Autonomy Versus Shame (Will)
The second psychosocial crisis, Erikson believes, occurs during early childhood, probably between about 18 months or 2 years and 3½ to 4 years of age. The “well – parented” child emerges from this stage sure of himself, elated with his new found control, and proud rather than ashamed. Autonomy is not, however, entirely synonymous with assured self – possession, initiative, and independence but, at least for children in the early part of this psychosocial crisis, includes stormy self – will, tantrums, stubbornness, and negativism. For example, one sees may 2 year olds resolutely folding their arms to prevent their mothers from holding their hands as they cross the street. Also, the sound of “NO” rings through the house or the grocery store.
3. Learning Initiative Versus Guilt (Purpose)
Erikson believes that this third psychosocial crisis occurs during what he calls the “play age,” or the later preschool years (from about 3½ to, in the United States culture, entry into formal school). During it, the healthily developing child learns: (1) to imagine, to broaden his skills through active play of all sorts, including fantasy (2) to cooperate with others (3) to lead as well as to follow. Immobilized by guilt, he is: (1) fearful (2) hangs on the fringes of groups (3) continues to depend unduly on adults and (4) is restricted both in the development of play skills and in imagination.
4. Industry Versus Inferiority (Competence)
Erikson believes that the fourth psychosocial crisis is handled, for better or worse, during what he calls the “school age,” presumably up to and possibly including some of junior high school. Here the child learns to master the more formal skills of life: (1) relating with peers according to rules (2) progressing from free play to play that may be elaborately structured by rules and may demand formal teamwork, such as baseball and (3) mastering social studies, reading, arithmetic. Homework is a necessity, and the need for self-discipline increases yearly. The child who, because of his successive and successful resolutions of earlier psychosocial crisis, is trusting, autonomous, and full of initiative will learn easily enough to be industrious. However, the mistrusting child will doubt the future. The shame – and guilt-filled child will experience defeat and inferiority.
5. Learning Identity Versus Identity Diffusion (Fidelity)
During the fifth psychosocial crisis (adolescence, from about 13 or 14 to about 20) the child, now an adolescent, learns how to answer satisfactorily and happily the question of “Who am I?” But even the best – adjusted of adolescents experiences some role identity diffusion: most boys and probably most girls experiment with minor delinquency; rebellion flourishes; self – doubts flood the youngster, and so on.
Erikson believes that during successful early adolescence, mature time perspective is developed; the young person acquires self-certainty as opposed to self-consciousness and self-doubt. He comes to experiment with different – usually constructive – roles rather than adopting a “negative identity” (such as delinquency). He actually anticipates achievement, and achieves, rather than being “paralyzed” by feelings of inferiority or by an inadequate time perspective. In later adolescence, clear sexual identity – manhood or womanhood – is established. The adolescent seeks leadership (someone to inspire him), and gradually develops a set of ideals (socially congruent and desirable, in the case of the successful adolescent). Erikson believes that, in our culture, adolescence affords a “psychosocial moratorium,” particularly for middle – and upper-class American children. They do not yet have to “play for keeps,” but can experiment, trying various roles, and thus hopefully find the one most suitable for them.
6. Learning Intimacy Versus Isolation (Love)
The successful young adult, for the first time, can experience true intimacy – the sort of intimacy that makes possible good marriage or a genuine and enduring friendship.
7. Learning Generativity Versus Self-Absorption (Care)
In adulthood, the psychosocial crisis demands generativity, both in the sense of marriage and parenthood, and in the sense of working productively and creatively.
8. Integrity Versus Despair (Wisdom)
If the other seven psychosocial crisis have been successfully resolved, the mature adult develops the peak of adjustment; integrity. He trusts, he is independent and dares the new. He works hard, has found a well – defined role in life, and has developed a self-concept with which he is happy. He can be intimate without strain, guilt, regret, or lack of realism; and he is proud of what he creates – his children, his work, or his hobbies. If one or more of the earlier psychosocial crises have not been resolved, he may view himself and his life with disgust and despair.
These eight stages of man, or the psychosocial crises, are plausible and insightful descriptions of how personality develops but at present they are descriptions only. We possess at best rudimentary and tentative knowledge of just what sort of environment will result, for example, in traits of trust versus distrust, or clear personal identity versus diffusion. Helping the child through the various stages and the positive learning that should accompany them is a complex and difficult task, as any worried parent or teacher knows. Search for the best ways of accomplishing this task accounts for much of the research in the field of child development. http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/erickson/

Moi wrote in The ‘whole child’ approach to education: Many children do not have a positive education experience in the education system for a variety of reasons. Many educators are advocating for the “whole child” approach to increase the number of children who have a positive experience in the education process. https://drwilda.com/2012/02/10/the-whole-child-approach-to-education/
In order to ensure that ALL children have a basic education, we must take a comprehensive approach to learning.

A healthy child in a healthy family who attends a healthy school in a healthy neighborhood ©

Resources:

Linking Social Development and Behavior to School Readiness

Erik Erikson’s Stages of Social-Emotional Development

Social and Emotional Learning
http://www.edutopia.org/social-emotional-learning

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©
http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda ©
https://drwilda.com/

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The 10/04/13 Joy Jar

4 Oct

Today was volunteer day for moi. Every person has a lesson they can teach. Moi encountered a very angry person who will never be able to let go of his anger. The anger has destroyed him and his life like corrosive acid. Let go of anger and find inner peace is the lesson.

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is inner peace

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.
Saint Francis de Sales

The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence.
Norman Vincent Peale

Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
Gerald Jampolsky

Chaotic people often have chaotic lives, and I think they create that. But if you try and have an inner peace and a positive attitude, I think you attract that.
Imelda Staunton

My faith helps me understand that circumstances don’t dictate my happiness, my inner peace.
Denzel Washington

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The 10/03/13 Joy jar

3 Oct

This is the third day of the government shut-down in D.C. and that got moi thinking about views on life politics, and whatever. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is a point of view.

Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
Victor Hugo

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
Muhammad Ali

One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.
Lao Tzu

It is just that we should be grateful, not only to those with whose views we may agree, but also to those who have expressed more superficial views; for these also contributed something, by developing before us the powers of thought.
Aristotle

Only The universe is wider than our views of it.
Henry David Thoreau

Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret.
Robert E. Lee

Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak.
John Adams

A mistake made by many people with great convictions is that they will let nothing stand in the way of their views, not even kindness.
Bryant H. McGill

He who closes his ears to the views of others shows little confidence in the integrity of his own views.
William Congreve

Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.
Elie Wiesel

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
C.S. Lewis,

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School Culture matters

3 Oct

Moi wrote in Study: Kindness helps students become more popular and improves school culture: Researchers are studying social interactions among students and how these interactions affect the climate of a school.
Mathew Tabor writes in the Education News article, Research: For Students, Kindness to Others Boosts Popularity, which describes a study about kindness behavior among adolescents.

In the wake of the Newtown shootings, social interactions between students is gaining more attention, with some experts saying that the way students treat each other can be a determining factor in a school’s overall well-being. And now research from Kristin Layous, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside may show that students who are kind to their peers experience an individual benefit — a boost in popularity.
In an observational study of students in Vancouver, British Columbia, researchers had students aged 9-11 perform three acts of kindness per week over the course of a month, while others visited three places. Results showed that:
“Students in both conditions improved in well-being, but students who performed kind acts experienced significantly bigger increases in peer acceptance (or sociometric popularity) than students who visited places.”In short, students demonstrating kindness reaped benefits of their own as their peers recognized their efforts and rewarded them socially.
There appears to be a reciprocal link between student happiness and positive behavior. Happier students tend to be kinder to others, and extending kindness to peers results in happier students.
http://www.educationnews.org/k-12-schools/research-for-students-kindness-to-others-boosts-popularity/

Creating a culture of kindness in schools has to be an intentional act.

Maryland’s Learning Links posted “Orchestrating School Culture”by Linda Inlay:

A school’s culture lives in its shared beliefs, its values, its rituals and traditions and in how the members of the school community interact with one another. It is different from the school vision. Some schools have a vision; others do not. You can choose whether or not to have a school vision. You cannot choose whether or not to have a school culture. As Linda Inlay writes above, the school culture manifests itself in everything the people in the school do each and every day. As a school leader, you and your team can either try to shape that culture in a positive way, or you can just let it be. It’s a bit like a garden. Things will probably grow in a garden, no matter what you do. But you can make it a whole lot nicer by planting particular flowers and vegetables in particular arrangements and, of course, by pulling out some of the weeds! Bringing mindfulness and intent to your school’s culture can enable you and your team to make your school a better and more productive environment for your students and for everyone else in your school community. http://marylandlearninglinks.org/1035

Some schools are trying to foster kinder school cultures and others innovation.

The Arizona Daily Sun reports in the article, ‘Kindness Revolution’ at Killip leaves little room for bullying:

But as we reported earlier this month, even grade-schoolers are jumping on the anti-bullying bandwagon — even if they don’t know it. Killip Elementary School has started a “Kindness Revolution” that gives students tips on how they can make a positive contribution every day — a smile, a word of encouragement, a polite “thank you.” They’ve even learned a word — “empathy” — that most students a generation ago would not have encountered until about seventh grade.
But at Killip, it’s hard for bullies to get much traction when an entire school has signed a contract that binds them to treating each other with respect and compassion so that they feel “happy, safe and loved….”
Schools, of course, cannot entirely replace the life lessons that young people might be missing from parents, siblings, churches and other adult mentors. But as the place where a young person spends about half his waking hours through the age of 18, a school and its culture can’t help but be a major influence in much more than formal academic learning. We applaud Killip and its entire school community for taking a positive and creative approach to a problem — bullying — that has been identified as a major contributor to the behavioral problems of young males later in life. A little kindness indeed can go a long way.
Killip Kindness Revolution Contract
We as the Killip Community
Agree to treat others with kindness
In our words and in our actions
We will treat all people
With respect and as equals
So they feel happy, safe, and loved
We will show compassion
And we will help others in need
As a Killip Cougar
I will show kindness and respect
To all members of my community
.http://azdailysun.com/news/opinion/editorial/kindness-revolution-at-killip-leaves-little-room-for-bullying/article_4077e426-f7f0-5859-8ee1-7310a66afecf.html

Study: Kindness helps students become more popular and improves school culture

Educators are trying to create school cultures which further their education agendas.

Kate Ash reported in the Education Week article, Building a District Culture to Foster Innovation:

For her part, Superintendent Pamela R. Moran reaches out to partners in the business community to determine what initiatives can help drive innovation in the district, which encompasses the area outside the city of Charlottesville.
“The factory school model of the 20th century [was] designed to mimic what factories needed in their workers,” Ms. Moran said. “Now, [the workforce] wants kids who can really work through issues to generate solutions that work without being dependent on someone at the top to solve it for them….
Observers say that Albemarle County stands out as a district that thrives on change and innovation, with a willingness to challenge the status quo to build a new type of learning environment for students.
In most school districts around the country, they say, innovation is happening at a painfully slow pace and often only in pockets such as individual classrooms, rarely if ever making the jump to a real, systemwide shift.
The good news is that lessons can be learned from districts that are, indeed, making such a shift.
What is the “secret sauce” in a district’s culture of operation that allows innovation to flourish? And how can those attitudes and approaches be replicated and scaled up in other places?
Those are not easy questions to answer, but education experts agree that there are some similarities across innovative districts that could shed light on how to establish such an education ecosystem. Those factors include strong leadership, empowered teachers and students, an infusion of technology districtwide, the creation of an organization with continuous learning at its core, and the freedom to experiment.
“This is not work that happens overnight,” said Ms. Moran, the Albemarle County superintendent.
‘Embrace Continuous Learning’
In 2002, the district’s leadership came together to draft a new vision of the lifelong-learning competencies that students need, which included such skills as being able to plan and conduct research and think critically about problems. That vision has guided the district in a new direction that has opened the door to experimentation and new ways of learning, said Ms. Moran, who has led the district since 2006. Prior to that promotion, she served as an assistant superintendent in the district.
But while she may have a vision for what innovation looks like, it’s important to keep in mind that what works in one school may not work in another, she emphasized….
Building a Culture of Innovation
School leadership experts outline several ways districts should work to create an atmosphere in which good ideas can flourish, including:
• Develop strong leaders who encourage informed risk-taking and experimentation rather than protection of the status quo.
• Establish an expectation of continuous learning and improvement from every person at every level of the organization.
• Craft a clearly defined and articulated vision for the district, and make sure everyone understands it and adheres to it.
• Foster an environment in which people have the power to change course quickly if a project or initiative isn’t working.
• Empower everyone in the district, from students to teachers and administrators, to take on leadership roles.
• Ensure a seamless infusion of technology throughout every sector of the district to produce efficiencies and collect meaningful data.
SOURCE: Education Week
http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2013/10/02/06el-culture.h33.html?tkn=RVCCDf2WA86z0jshtr6iFv7fE0Y1IKUdJy3W&cmp=clp-sb-ascd

Jan Lukes wrote in Why School Leaders Should Build An Intentional School Culture:

High-performing school leaders are effective in messaging that school is a place with specific standards that enable both staff and students to thrive. I often share the following example with school leaders and find that it resonates – unlike an elevator or a place of worship, where there are unspoken norms for behavior, new schools and existing schools that aim to rebuild their culture need expectations to be stated explicitly.
These values are upheld through established cultural elements that are consistent and visible from classroom to classroom. Such elements often include instituting a Student Code of Conduct, identifying one positive behaviors or mega-cognitive skill per month to highlight across the school, drafting guidelines on issuing rewards and consequences for student behavior and establishing school routines (e.g. arrival, dismissal, hallway transitions) and rituals (weekly celebrations, achievement-oriented field trips, class cheers).
http://fluency21.com/blog/2013/06/11/why-school-leaders-should-build-an-intentional-school-culture/

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu. Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

Resources:

Creating a Culture of Respect and Kindness
http://www.growingseeds.net/respect.php

Prevent Bullying, Promote Kindness: 20 Things All Schools Can Do

Click to access 340b8b7f-e067-4231-9dd8-1eaed2a8962e.pdf

Related:

Study: Kindness helps students become more popular and improves school culture

Study: Kindness helps students become more popular and improves school culture

College readiness: What are ‘soft skills’

College readiness: What are ‘soft skills’

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©
http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda ©
https://drwilda.com/

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The 10/02/13 Joy Jar

2 Oct

This year the fashion trend in winter gloves seems to be wild patterns and designs with strong colors. Moi even saw a pair of sequined gloves. Probably not going to buy those. BUT, moi is going to get some very crazy winter gloves. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is wild and crazy gloves.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.
John Barrymore

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller

Boxing was not something I truly enjoyed. Like a lot of things in life, when you put the gloves on, it’s better to give than to receive.
Sugar Ray Leonard

I think we do have to take off the gloves in some areas, but within balance, and at the right time and the right way, and for the right reason and with full understanding of what the consequences of that might be.
John O. Brennan

I’m generally slow to anger, quick to forgive, and I take in information before making decisions. So no matter how controversial the decision, my general demeanour is to put on white lab coat and gloves and look at the evidence, weigh the arguments and see what makes sense.
Peter Blair Henry

“MOUSQUETAIRE, n. A long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in New Jersey. But “mousquetaire” is a might poor way to spell muskeeter.”
Ambrose Bierce

“A pure hand needs no glove to cover it.”
Nathaniel Hawthorne

“There are no little events with the heart. It magnifies everything; it places in the same scales the fall of an empire of fourteen years and the dropping of a woman’s glove, and almost always the glove weighs more than the empire.”
Honore de Balzac

Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand”
Bodie Thoene

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The 10/01/13 Joy Jar

2 Oct

Today is the first day of October. October is simply a transition month between summer and the beginning of winter.

A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it.
Nikki Giovanni

Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ are transitions like October.

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

“There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir: We must rise and follow her, When from every hill of flame She calls, and calls each vagabond by name.”
William Bliss

“The crickets still sing in October. And lilly, she’s trying to bloom. Tho she’s resting her head on the shoulder of death, she still shines by the light of the moon.”
Kevin Dalton

“October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace!”
Rainbow Rowell, Attachments

“After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth…The maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her…In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible.”
Elizabeth George Speare, The Witch of Blackbird Pond

October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.
Hal Borland

“There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on the feelings, as now in October”
Nathaniel Hawthorne

“Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves, We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!”
Humbert Wolfe

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