Tag Archives: style

Washington schools have teens sign contract to decrease lewd prom dancing

24 Oct

Tina Patel of Q13 Fox News reported in the story, Students must sign dance contract: No twerking, no ‘sex’ dancing:

LACEY, Wash. — Students and their parents had to sign contracts before they could go to homecoming dances at River Ridge and North Thurston high schools in Lacey.
When Miley Cyrus took the stage at the Video Music Awards a couple months ago, some parents were shocked by her ‘twerking.’
“It is kind of surprising that that would be considered normal dancing,” Julie Evans, the mother of a 16-year-old girl, said Wednesday.
But officials with North Thurston Public Schools know times have changed, and students are used to seeing things like this on a dance floor.
“It’s that YouTube generation,” said Courtney Schrieve, a spokeswoman for North Thurston Public Schools. “They have a lot more exposure to a lot of different things, so we have to constantly stay on top of that.”
A few years ago, school officials heard about another district canceling homecoming because of inappropriate dancing.
“Some of our activities directors at the high school got together and said, ‘Let’s nip this in the bud, get ahead of this,’” said Schrieve.
They came up with a dance contract. At River Ridge High School in Lacey, students may not bend over 45 degrees or more while dancing. The contract also states there cannot be “lap dancing” or dancing that “looks like you’re having sex.”
“Some of the things are things that you wouldn’t think should have to be in writing,” Evans said.
In the spring, Port Townsend and Port Angeles schools instituted a ‘Face to Face’ dance policy to try and cut down on ‘grinding.’ Students responded by boycotting the dances altogether.
But the students in Lacey say they don’t mind signing a contract.
“No, I was OK with it,” said River Ridge freshman Angel Allen. “I understood why and stuff.”
“It’s just one of those things, like how you have to get a permission slip to watch a movie in class,” added senior Joely Manning.
They said the contract makes parents feel better. But they said that if parents came to the dances, they would see there’s no reason to worry.
“We have teachers,” Manning said. “And you’re in your high school. You’re not going to be pulling a Miley Cyrus out there.”
http://q13fox.com/2013/10/23/students-in-lacey-must-sign-dance-contract-before-attending-homecoming/#ixzz2ifZLi3dJ

Letty Maldando echoes the advise to keep in touch with your teen in herehow article, How to Plan a Safe Prom Night for Your Teen:

Step 1
Prepare a complete itinerary of the prom night events. Include:
*Prom pre-party, party, and post party location information
*Phone numbers – friends, locales, limo driver, prom chaperones, etc…
*Transportation alternatives
*List of people they’ll be with – include phone numbers and parent info
Make sure that both you and your teen have a copy of the itinerary so that you can reach other in an emergency.
Step 2
Discuss prom night safety issues well in advance. This should not be something that parents should be shouting atteens as they are leaving. Prepare what information you want to share. Bring notes if you think you might trip up on your words. Don’t be shy about the topics (alcohol, drugs, sex). If need be, pull out some news stories and pictures of the consequences of unsafe behavior. Sometimes visual aids are more memorable than a lecture.
Step 3
Agree on an “unconditional” call for your help and/or a ride home if something should happen. If you are worried that your child won’t call you (even with this agreement) then assign a trusted relative, friend, or neighbor that will take the phone call and help them out of whatever the situation may be.
Step 4
Hire a driver to ensure that your teen has reliable transportation. If this is not financially feasible then make sure that you know the person who will be driving on prom night. Meet your teen’s friends and don’t be afraid to have the “no drinking and driving” conversation with them as well.
Step 5
Set up a check in time for each part of the evening. If they are going to be hopping around to several locations make sure to receive a call from them as they arrive at each place. If your teen doesn’t want to call in or misses a check in then set up a text message that they can respond to with a code word that indicates that they’re doing well. It’s best to speak to them directly but a text message is the next best thing.

According to Maldando and the Partnership for a Drug Free America,parents should communicate both before and during the prom. They should know what their children’s plans for are for the evening.

To many observers, many forms of freak or dirty dancing are really simulations of sex acts. A lot of issues arise such as setting boundaries for teen sexual behavior, peer pressure to engage in inappropriate behavior or dress and the general question of is this really good for teens?

What is Freak or Dirty Dancing?

Love to Know: Party defines freak dancing:

Freak or dirty dancing is sexually suggestive dancing and the question is whether it is appropriate for teens in middle or high school? http://party.lovetoknow.com/How_to_Freak_Dance

What are Sexual Boundaries?

Women’s Health Center has an excellent definition of boundaries http://www.wrcnrv.org/helpingYou/ft_boundaries.shtml
Boundaries

A boundary is your personal physical, emotional and sexual comfort zone. We all have a gut feeling that lets us know when our boundaries are being broken.

Below are examples of how boundaries can be broken:

Interrupting a conversation

Taking someone’s possessions without her or his permission

Teasing or making fun of someone

Asking very personal questions

Telling other people stories about someone

Making someone uncomfortable by always being around or invading their private space
Saying or doing things that others find offensive or vulgar
Forcing someone into doing something sexual
Physically assaulting someone
Using inappropriate language or touching

Using violence in any way
Healthy Place says the setting boundaries are important to minimize sexual assault http://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/teen-relationships/preventing-sexual-assault-be-clear-about-your-sexual-boundaries/

Teens must understand that communication is not only verbal, but physical as well. What they are communicating with body language or apparel may or may not be what they intend to communicate.

How to Talk to Your Teen About Sexual Boundaries

Stop It Now MN has some excellent guidelines about talking to kids about sexual boundaries. http://www.stopitnow.org/mn

Things have sure changed from back in the day.

Resources:

Prom Night Perils
http://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-teen/

Keeping Teens Safe and Sober on Prom Night
http://www.squidoo.com/safeandsober

Prom Lessons Learned the Easy Way
http://mpoweredparent.com/blog/2010/04/11/prom-lessons-learned-the-easy-way/

Related:

How to have a sane prom
https://drwilda.com/tag/freak-and-dirty-dancing/

Where information leads to Hope. © Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©
http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©
http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda ©
https://drwilda.com/

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The 09/17/13 Joy Jar

17 Sep

New copper is bright and shiny, just like babies. As it ages, copper acquires a patina. American cities on the left coast don’t have the patina of age as many of the cities in Europe do. People who have aged gracefully acquire an elegant patina. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is an elegant patina.

Fewer and fewer Americans possess objects that have a patina, old furniture, grandparents pots and pans / the used things, warm with generations of human touch, essential to a human landscape. Instead, we have our paper phantoms, transistorized landscapes. A featherweight portable museum.
Susan Sontag (January 16, 1933 – December 28, 2004)
.

We don’t know exactly how they were built, presumably people who worked on site were asked to just build them. Sometimes, like in the studios, we just accepted the patina of paint that had accrued over time and just left it as a kind of found surface, which distinguishes and differentiates the rooms.
Thomas Payne

“In a global capital like New York, neither people nor buildings have the chance to accumulate the patina of age. Most residents are not born there, neither do they live in the same house for generations, and the physical fabric of the city is constantly changing around them.”
Sharon Zukin, Naked City: The Death and Life of Authentic Urban Places

“Stories are a kind of thing, too. Stories and objects share something, a patina. I thought I had this clear, two years ago before I started, but I am no longer sure how this works. Perhaps a patina is a process of rubbing back so that the essential is revealed, the way that a striated stone tumbled in a river feels irreducible, the way that this netsuke of a fox has become little more than a memory of a nose and a tail. But it also seems additive, in the way that a piece of oak furniture gains over years and years of polishing, and the way the leaves of my medlar shine.”
― Edmund de Waal, The Hare With Amber Eyes: A Family’s Century of Art and Loss

After that I could never pass a dead man without stopping to gaze on his face, stripped by death of that earthly patina which masks the living soul. And I would ask, who were you? Where was your home? Who is mourning for you now?
(Ernst Toller)

“Patina is the value that age puts on an object”
John Yemma, editor of the Christian Science Monitor, in his “open source” column for November 22, 2009, “On Thanksgiving: the memorial that time forgot”

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The 07/07/13 Joy Jar

7 Jul

Moi went to the salon this weekend and got a conditioning treatment. One of the women who worked there was wearing a sequined tank top. That wardrobe choice brightened up the salon and everyone there commented on how much they liked it, particularly because the sequins were worn in the daytime. Really, why not brighten your world and the world of others. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar are sequins.

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
Mae West

When you’re around me, you’re going to get glitter on you.
Kesha

“Note to self: Never leave home without glitter.”
Adrienne Kress, The Friday Society

I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.
Bette Midler

They are the literary equivalent of sequins on an evening dress.
Stefan Kanfer

“And now, I’m just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time.”
Lady Gaga

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Dr. Wilda Reviews: Seattle Art Museum’s ‘Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion’

30 Jun

Moi had the great pleasure of attending the Seattle Art Museum’s (SAM) press preview for Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion which runs June 27 – September 8 at SAM Downtown in Simonyi Special Exhibition Galleries. This exhibit was organized by the Kyoto Costume Institute (KCI) and London’s Barbican Art Gallery in collaboration with SAM Seattle whichis one of two U.S. cities which will host this exhibit. After leaving Seattle, the exhibit will go to the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, Massachusetts. Japanese fashion historian, Akiko Fukai , who is the Chief Curator of the KCI is the curator. All moi can say is, we are so very blessed. For fashionistas on the West Coast, it is definitely worth traveling to Seattle to see. Moi would describe the experience as being treated to some very expensive Cognac. It is not something one gets every day, but once treated to the experience, the Cognac is savored. Once the Cognac is drunk, you know that you might not have appreciated all the subtle notes.

The exhibit is “ structured in a combination of thematic and monographic sections.” The first section is influenced by In Praise of Shadows:

….an essay on Japanese aesthetics by the Japanese author and novelist Jun’ichirō Tanizaki. It was translated into English by the academic students of Japanese literature Thomas Harper and Edward Seidensticker.

The essay consists of 16 sections that discuss traditional Japanese aesthetics in contrast with change. Comparisons of light with darkness are used to contrast Western and Asian cultures. The West, in its striving for progress, is presented as continuously searching for light and clarity, while the subtle and subdued forms of oriental art and literature are seen by Tanizaki to represent an appreciation of shadow and subtlety, closely relating to the traditional Japanese concept of sabi. In addition to contrasting light and dark, Tanizaki further considers the layered tones of various kinds of shadows and their power to reflect low sheen materials like gold embroidery, patina and cloudy crystals. In addition, he distinguishes between the values of gleam and shine.              ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Praise_of_Shadows

The other sections have the themes of Flatness, Tradition and Innovation, and Cool Japan. One is of course wowed by the designs, but the real story is CREATIVITY and INNOVATION in the imagining of how fabrics can be used in design. Another thought moi had was that those who wear these fashions are probably very confident and sure of themselves and their relationship to the world.

This show is really one of those that you have to see in person because one will not be able to grasp the subtle and nuanced way in which some very exceptional fabrics are used in design. Sometimes fashion is simply eye candy and there certainly are those pieces in the collection. There are also those pieces that jar the senses and ask one to think about what role fashion has or should have. Is fashion important and what does beauty really mean? This is a beautifully displayed collection of designs displaying a particularly cultural take on the question of what is good design. Moi highly recommends this show.

The Japanese External Trade Organization describes the Fashion History of Japan:

Japanese fashion reached a turning point in the 70’s. Pr?t-a-porter (ready-made clothing) which people could wear more easily than haute couture, became widely available and that drastically changed Japanese fashion. Japan was in the middle of a high economic growth period and strong personal consumption backed the situation. Hanae Mori, Kenzo Takada, and Issei Miyake received attention internationally in the 1970’s.

Kenzo Takada established The House of KENZO in Paris in 1970 and opened his own boutique “Jangle Jap” there. He then started participating in the Paris Pr?t-a-porter Collection and his colorful, pretty and dynamic folklore look, big look, and layered look quickly became popular. Issei Miyake also started showing in Paris the Pret-a-porter Collection in 1973. Hanae Mori had her first show in New York in 1965 and then opened her maison de haute couture in Paris in 1977 and joined the Paris Haute Couture Collection. At the same time, Sayoko Yamaguchi, a Japanese fashion model, became very popular in the Paris Collection with her bob hair and makeup which emphasized her long-slitted eyes.

In the 80’s, Rei Kawakubo of Comme des Garçons and Yohji Yamamoto received high recognition internationally. Their “boro look” which was loose black clothes ripped and frayed, brought sensational controversy in Paris, but their clothes then gave influence to the fashion after the period. Kawakubo and Yamamoto’s clothes matched to the mood of the 80’s when clothes with strong impressions were considered to be interesting. Their avant garde and dress-down approach had carved out new possibilities of fashion. It was an era when Japanese fashion bolstered a unique and original image which would shake the general idea of Western clothes. Kawakubo and Yamamoto’s deconstructed and sexless clothes later influenced designers in Belgium such as Martin Margiela.

In 1985, the Council of Fashion Designers, Tokyo (CFD) was established with 32 designers and then the Tokyo Collection was started. The DC (Designer Character) boom in the 80’s helped to energize the Tokyo Collection. In addition to designer’s brands which had been recognized internationally as high-end brands since the 70’s, character brands referred to brands which were more affordable yet very fashion trend conscious. Many character brands such as Bigi, Nicole, Atelier Sab, Pink House, and Takeo Kikuchi swept the Japanese market. Strong economic growth referred to as a “bubble” intensified the movement.

Noritaka TatehanaShortly after the 90’s started, the economic bubble burst and casual fashion became the mainstream fashion trend. In addition to “Shibukaji” which meant casual fashion originated from Shibuya in Tokyo in the end of the 80’s, “kogyaru” which referred to high school girls with loose socks, “chapatsu” ( brown hair), and “ganguro” (face with black foundation or strongly tanned) gained power in Shibuya. Street fashion in Tokyo started to get attention even from the international media and Shibuya and Harajuku especially became recognized as sources for fashion trend. “Ura Hara” which referred to the back streets in Harajuku, also became popular as a trendy fashion area. Jun Takahashi who is the designer of Under Cover originated from “Ura Hara” and he joined the Tokyo Collection in the middle of the 90’s and later started showing in Paris with the 2003 Spring Summer collection. Shibuya 109 (ichi maru kyuu), which is a building with many fashion brand tenants such as Egoist, Cocolulu, Moussy and Cecil McBEE, became very popular among young women in their teens and 20’s and the sexy and pretty fashion was called “maru kyuu fashion.”

When 21st Century started, more Japanese designers such as Chisato Tsumori, Junya Watanabe, Chitose Abe (Sacai), Limi Yamamoto (Limi Feu) started showing in the Paris Collection. In New York, “Japan Fashion Now” which was started in September in 2010 at the FIT Museum extended the term for three more months to the beginning of April in 2011 due to the popular demand. Among the featured designers in the exhibition, Under Cover, designed by Jun Takahashi was particularly favorite among the visitors. Noritaka Tatehana, who launched his shoes brand “NORITAKA TATEHANA” in 2010 quickly became famous as the pop singer Lady Gaga wore his highly distinctive shoes with no heels. His collection pieces are all handmade by the designer himself who has a back ground of creating kimono and wooden clogs utilizing yu-zen dying. Among the veteran designers, Rei Kawakubo of Comme des Garçons still actively inspires the world of fashion not only with her collection each season, but also her concept stores Dover Street Market, which are in London as well as in Ginza, Tokyo. Rei Kawakubo was chosen to be awarded for the international design from CFDA, Council of Fashion Designers of America in June, 2012. http://www.jetro.org/fashion_history_of_japan

Here is the press release from Seattle Art Museum:

For Immediate Release

Contact: Wendy Malloy, SAM Public Relations
(206) 654-3151; email: PR@SeattleArtMuseum.org

Seattle Art Museum Presents Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion

Comprehensive survey of avant-garde Japanese fashion
Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion
June 27–September 8, 2013


SEATTLE, May 6, 2013 – This summer Seattle Art Museum (SAM) presents Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion featuring more than 100 costumes by celebrated and original designers including Issey Miyake, Rei Kawakubo, and Yohji Yamamoto as well as younger designers influenced by popular culture and the dynamic street life of Tokyo.

This exciting exhibition, on view at the Seattle Art Museum June 27–September 8, 2013, highlights the tremendous innovation of Japanese fashion designers from the early 1980s to the present who revolutionized the way we think of fashion today. The designs reflect a range of influences from Japanese aesthetics, reinterpretations of Western couture, punk aesthetics and Japanese street fashion.

“I am delighted that the Seattle Art Museum is the first museum in the United States to share this fascinating and influential period in design history and to present this stunning collection from the Kyoto Costume Institute.” said Kimerly Rorschach, SAM’s Illsley Ball Nordstrom Director.

Curated by the eminent Japanese fashion historian Akiko Fukai, Director/Chief Curator, the Kyoto Costume Institute (KCI), the exhibition explores the distinctive sensibility of Japanese design and its sense of beauty embodied in clothing. Bringing together over 100 garments from the last three decades—some never seen before in the United States—the exhibition also includes films of notable catwalk shows and documentaries.

“The exhibition shows how Japanese fashion design launched itself on the world stage in the 1980s,” said Catharina Manchanda, SAM’s Jon & Mary Shirley Curator of Modern & Contemporary Art.

“Japanese fashion designers at that time developed breathtaking aesthetic positions that subsequently influenced a younger generation of Western designers including Martin Margiela, Ann Demeulemeester and Alexander McQueen.”

The first Japanese designers who gained recognition in the West were Kenzo Takada and Issey Miyake in the 1970s. But the 1980s were the decade when Japanese designers forcefully made their mark. Traditionally, Western women’s fashion was and still is concerned with seductively packaging and unveiling the body.

Symmetry of the silhouette is one of Western fashion’s defining characteristics. But a legendary spring/summer show in Paris for the 1983 collection was a stark departure from such familiar positions. Rei Kawakubo for Comme des Garçons and Yohji Yamamoto were the designers who put forth a stark new aesthetic based on monochrome black and white colors and they presented asymmetrical, and above all artfully perforated and ripped designs that were deconstructive and the antithesis of a fitted gown.

The exhibition is structured in a combination of thematic and monographic sections:

The first thematic section, In Praise of Shadows, explores the Japanese designers’ interest in materials, textures and forms, and consciousness of light and shade. Most of the designs in this section are in black and white and revisit the moment when these minimal aesthetic proposals were first introduced to European audiences in the early 1980s. The costumes in this section include designs by Rei Kawakubo, Yohji Yamamoto, and Junya Watanabe.

The second section is Flatness and explores the simple geometries and interplay of flatness and volume in the work of Issey Miyake and Rei Kawakubo. This section includes a series of specially commissioned striking photographs by Japanese artist and photographer Naoya Hatakeyama.

In the next section the relationship between Tradition and Innovation is considered—from the radical reinvention of traditional Japanese garments and techniques, such as kimono and origami, to the technological advances in textile fabrication and treatment. It includes a series of paper garments by OhYa and Mintdesigns; Watanabe’s seminal autumn/winter 2000 collection Techno Couture; examples of Kawakubo’s deconstructionist work; as well as modern takes on traditional Japanese techniques and garments by Yamamoto, Kenzo and Matohu.

The final section focuses on the phenomenon that is Cool Japan. Featuring works by Tao Kurihara, Jun Takahashi for Undercover and Naoki Takizawa, among others. Cool Japan examines the symbiotic relationship between street style, popular culture and high fashion.

The exhibition also includes monographic presentations on each of the principle designers in the show featuring a range of archive and recent works: Rei Kawakubo (Comme des Garçons), Yohji Yamamoto, Issey Miyake, Junya Watanabe, and Jun Takahashi (Undercover).

Following its visit to Seattle, Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion will travel to the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, Mass., where it will be on view November 16, 2013 through January 26, 2014.

Seattle Art Museum

SAM is one museum in three locations: SAM Downtown, Seattle Asian Art Museum at Volunteer Park, and the Olympic Sculpture Park on the downtown waterfront. SAM collects, preserves and exhibits objects from across time and across cultures, exploring the dynamic connections between past and present.

Kyoto Costume Institue (KCI)

Established in 1978 by Wacoal Corp., KCI is one of Japan’s leading repositories of historical costumes and contemporary fashion with a collection of over eleven thousand works. KCI has organized critically acclaimed fashion exhibitions around the world, including Ancien Régime and Japonism in Fashion, and generated important publications such as Fashion: A History from the 18th to the 20th Century; Collection of the Kyoto Costume Institute (Taschen, 2002).

Exhibition originally conceived by the Kyoto Costume Institute and Barbican Art Gallery, London. Seattle Exhibition organized by Kyoto Costume Institute in collaboration with the Seattle Art Museum. Exhibition supported by Wacoal Corp.

Presenting sponsor is Seattle Art Museum Supporters. Major sponsor is 4Culture King County Lodging Tax. Additional support provided by the Japan Foundation and the Max and Helen Gurvich Exhibition Endowment. Print media sponsor is Seattle Weekly. Retail partner is Pacific Place.

Contemporary and modern art programs at SAM are supported by a generous group of donors in honor of Bagley Wright.

Moi highly recommends this show. It is worth traveling to see.

Resources:

Brief History of Japanese Clothing                           http://www.reconstructinghistory.com/articles/japanese-articles/a-brief-history-of-japanese-clothing.html

Elements of Japanese Design                              http://www.thecultureconcept.com/circle/elements-of-japanese-design

FASHION JAPAN

Magazine on Japanese street fashion, runway fashion and street culture.

Where information leads to Hope. ©                                  Dr. Wilda.com

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©                      http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©                                             http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda © https://drwilda.com/

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The 06/09/13 Joy Jar

9 Jun

 

Moi will be going to the ’30 Years of Japanese Fashion’ exhibit at Seattle Art Museum at the end of the month. To beef up her fashion chops moi went to the movie, ‘Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorfs’ which was a hoot and really showed the creativity of high fashion and those famous windows at Bergdorfs. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is the creativity of high fashion.

“I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it.”

Alexander McQueen

“The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.”

Diana Vreeland

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.”

Yves Saint-Laurent

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.”

Gianni Versace

“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.”

Coco Chanel

“Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.”

Audrey Hepburn

“I have always believed that fashion was not only to make women more beautiful, but also to reassure them, give them confidence.”

Yves Saint Laurent

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
Oscar Wilde

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The 05/04/13 Joy Jar

3 May

 

The weather is heating up in Seattle. For many parts of the country that have vary defined seasons with high temperatures and high humidity, Seattle warm would be no big deal. Still, warm weather means a warm weather beauty routine. Tie the hair back to get it off one’s face. Moi went to the dollar store and got a bunch of hair ties in various colors. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ are hair ties.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin

Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can’t put on make-up, or dress yourself, or do you hair with any sort of fun or joy if you’re doing it from a position of correction.
Kevyn Aucoin

Beauty isn’t seen throughout the makeup brushes or hair products; beauty is seen by those who choose not to see imperfections, and by those who you love and those who love you. Everyone is beautiful, but some people choose to hate on others for things they don’t like. Forget about those who make your days miserable, and live for those who make your life beautiful.

Unknown

I’m far from perfect. I could have a flatter stomach, clearer skin, whiter teeth, better hair, etc. But at least I don’t have an ugly heart.

Unknown

There’s many a man has more hair than wit.
William Shakespeare

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The 05/03/13 Joy Jar

2 May

 

The next few days will be ‘Seattle warm’ with temperatures headed toward the 80s. Time to drag out the bright colors and the summer clothes. Time to drag out the red shoes. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is moi’s red shoes.

“The red shoes dance her out into the street, they dance her over the mountains and valleys, through fields and forests, through night and day.”
-The Red Shoes 1948

“Every woman loves shoes, and every woman has a pair of red shoes, which is good news.”

Unknown

“Give a girl some red heels and she can conquer the world”
-Bette Midler

And whenever I’m in a situation where I’m wearing the same as 600 other people and doing the same thing as 600 other people, looking back, I always found ways to make myself different, whether it be having a red lining inside of my jacket, having red shoes, it hasn’t changed.

Jeremy Irons


“When in doubt, wear red.”

Bill Blass

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How to have a sane prom

28 Apr

 

Joseph Pisani reports in the Huffington Post article, Prom Spending Is On The Rise Again, Expected To Average $1,139 In 2013:

 

— The prom is making a big comeback.

 

The recession forced parents and teens to cut back on spending for the annual high school dance, but wallets are finally opening again.

 

“Dresses are more elaborate,” says Marshal Cohen, chief industry analyst at market research firm NPD Group. “They are now buying two pairs of shoes, one to go to prom and one to dance in.”

 

“This crop of kids cares about prom,” says Cohen.

 

And so do the parents, who see the dance as a rite of passage. The pressure to help give teenagers a memorable night is high. “You don’t want your kid to be the only kid who doesn’t have what the other kids have,” says Kit Yarrow, a consumer psychologist and professor at Golden Gate University.

 

Prom spending is expected to rise this spring to an average $1,139. That’s among families who are planning to spend some money to attend the annual affair, according to a survey of 1,025 parents of prom age teens by payment processor Visa Inc. and research company Gfk. Not included in the average were 12 percent who said they wouldn’t spend anything on the prom. A majority of parents with teenagers surveyed were still unsure how much they’d spend. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/25/prom-spending-rise-2013_n_3154846.html?utm_hp_ref=@education123

 

There are ways to cut prom expenses.

 

CBS News recommends in the article, 6 ways to cut prom costs:

 

However, it is possible to shrink prom costs to a more manageable level. Andrea Woroch, a consumer and money saving expert, provided some great tips on how to slash the price:

 

1. Don’t overspend on the dress.

 

You can find cheaper dresses at consignment shops and discounted bridesmaid dresses at bridal shops. You can also rent a dress. RenttheRunway.com offers designer dresses and accessory rentals for savings up to 90 percent off retail.

 

2. Don’t overspend on the tuxedo.

 

The average cost of renting a tuxedo is $141, according to WeddingStats.org. You can cut the price if you don’t order the deluxe packages that can include such things as a pocket square and vest. When my son went to proms, he saved a considerable amount of money by picking the no-frills tuxedo. Nobody, after all, is looking at the boys’ outfits. Price breaks are also possible if friends place orders together.

 

3. Skip the florist.

 

Grocery stores are often a cheaper source of flowers than florist shops. According to Woroch, the cost can be as much as 40 percent lower. You can also make your own corsage or boutonniere after following this tutorial from LovelyCraftHome.

 

4. Do your own hair.

 

Formal up-do’s can cost around $40. Up-dos, however, are being replaced by more casual looks that you can do at home. Here are some hair ideas from the popular website Pinterest. My daughter got her prom up-dos at a beauty school, which was a cheaper option.

 

5. Take your own photos.

 

Formal prom portraits can cost up to $75 per person. Skip those photos and use the photos that mom and dad take when dates meet before the prom begins. You can always use your smartphone to take pictures during the prom. 

 

6. Use coupons.

 

Here’s my own idea: use prom coupons at FreeShipping.org. Retailers with deals at the site include  Nordstrom, Kohl’s, Sears, Target, Express, House of Brides, TJ Formal and Victoria’s Secret. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505145_162-57415453/6-ways-to-cut-prom-costs/

 

The key is to be reasonable.

 

The Partnership for a Drug Free America has some great advice for parents on prom night:     

 

To keep celebrations safe and healthy, here are some helpful tips and advice for parents and caregivers:    

 

Know Your Teens’ Plans and tell them to update you if the itinerary changes so you’re aware of their whereabouts.

 

Check In With Them Via Text – they are more likely to reply, since it’s discreet. You can send messages like “Hope ur having a gr8 time!” or “U OK?” before and after the dance.

 

Trust Your Teens and resist the urge to hover. You’ve filled them in on the rules and the risks – chances are they got the message.

 

 Additional Resources:
For a Safe Prom Night: Parents, Please Don’t Serve Alcohol to Teens

 

Survey: Parents Let Their Own Experiences Affect Drug and Alcohol Boundaries Set for Teens at Prom and Graduation Parties

 

The emphasis is on limiting alcohol use and keeping in touch with your child. 

 

Letty Maldando echoes the advise to keep in touch with your teen in her ehow article, How to Plan a Safe Prom Night for Your Teen

 

 Step 1

 

Prepare a complete itinerary of the prom night events. Include:

 

*Prom pre-party, party, and post party location information

*Phone numbers – friends, locales, limo driver, prom chaperones, etc…

*Transportation alternatives

*List of people they’ll be with – include phone numbers and parent info

 

Make sure that both you and your teen have a copy of the itinerary so that you can reach other in an emergency.

 

Step 2

 

Discuss prom night safety issues well in advance. This should not be something that parents should be shouting at teens as they are leaving. Prepare what information you want to share. Bring notes if you think you might trip up on your words. Don’t be shy about the topics (alcohol, drugs, sex). If need be, pull out some news stories and pictures of the consequences of unsafe behavior. Sometimes visual aids are more memorable than a lecture.

 

Step 3

 

Agree on an “unconditional” call for your help and/or a ride home if something should happen. If you are worried that your child won’t call you (even with this agreement) then assign a trusted relative, friend, or neighbor that will take the phone call and help them out of whatever the situation may be.

 

Step 4

 

Hire a driver to ensure that your teen has reliable transportation. If this is not financially feasible then make sure that you know the person who will be driving on prom night. Meet your teen’s friends and don’t be afraid to have the “no drinking and driving” conversation with them as well.

 

Step 5

 

Set up a check in time for each part of the evening. If they are going to be hopping around to several locations make sure to receive a call from them as they arrive at each place. If your teen doesn’t want to call in or misses a check in then set up a text message that they can respond to with a code word that indicates that they’re doing well. It’s best to speak to them directly but a text message is the next best thing.     

 

According to Maldando and the Partnership for a Drug Free America, parents should communicate both before and during the prom. They should know what their children’s plans for are for the evening.  

 

 

High school administrators have cancelled school dances and proms because of the phenomenon of freak or dirty dancing. King5.Com reported about a recent dirty dancing incident at Nathan Hale High School.

 

The dance lights have been shelved and the beat silenced at Nathan Hale High School after the principal determined that the homecoming dance got out of control.

 

“The students were dancing inappropriately,” said Dr. Jill Hudson. “I’m not going to get into the details.”

 

She wouldn’t describe the offending behavior.

 

“What I’m determined in calling it is inappropriate behavior,” said Hudson. “I cannot allow that at school functions.”

 

But she did tell the school’s student newspaper that “students were dancing with their genitals against each other and that’s not OK” and that creates an unsafe environment for other students.

 

There have been several incidents of dirty dancing at schools in California. Carla Rivera writes in the LA Times that some schools are requiring students and parents to sign contracts saying they won’t engage in dirty dancing

 

To many observers, many forms of freak or dirty dancing are really simulations of sex acts. A lot of issues arise such as setting boundaries for teen sexual behavior, peer pressure to engage in inappropriate behavior or dress and the general question of is this really good for teens?

 

What is Freak or Dirty Dancing?

 

Love to Know: Party defines freak dancing

 

Freak or dirty dancing is sexually suggestive dancing and the question is whether it is appropriate for teens in middle or high school?

 

What are Sexual Boundaries?

 

Women’s Health Center has an excellent definition of boundaries

 

Boundaries

 

A boundary is your personal physical, emotional and sexual comfort zone. We all have a gut feeling that lets us know when our boundaries are being broken.

 

Below are examples of how boundaries can be broken:

 

Interrupting a conversation

 

Taking someone’s possessions without her or his permission

 

Teasing or making fun of someone

 

Asking very personal questions

 

Telling other people stories about someone

 

Making someone uncomfortable by always being around or invading their private space

 

Saying or doing things that others find offensive or vulgar

 

Forcing someone into doing something sexual

 

Physically assaulting someone

 

Using inappropriate language or touching

 

Using violence in any way

 

Healthy Place says the setting boundaries are important to minimize sexual assault

 

Teens must understand that communication is not only verbal, but physical as well. What they are communicating with body language or apparel may or may not be what they intend to communicate.

 

How to Talk to Your Teen About Sexual Boundaries

 

Stop It Now MN has some excellent guidelines about talking to kids about sexual boundaries

 

Things have sure changed from back in the day.

 

Resources:

 

 

Prom Night Perils

 

 

A Prom Night Plan: Avoiding the Perils of Drunk Driving

 

Straight Talk About Sex

 

Negotiate and Enforce Curfews

 

Keeping Teens Safe and Sober on Prom Night

 

Prom Lessons Learned the Easy Way

 

 

Where information leads to Hope. ©                               Dr. Wilda.com

 

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

 

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

 

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART©                      http://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

 

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Dr. Wilda ©                                                                                                      https://drwilda.com/

 

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The 04/24/13 Joy Jar

23 Apr

 

It’s going to be nearly 70 degrees in Seattle and that means not only nice weather, but putting the winter hats away and bringing out the Spring and Summer hats. At one time women had a collection of hats. The hat was a finishing touch. Moi still thinks a nice hat is a finishing touch. Today’s deposit in the ‘Joy Jar’ is a hat which fits the mood.

“Some hats can only be worn if you’re willing to be jaunty, to set them at an angle and to walk beneath them with a spring in your stride as if you’re only a step away from dancing. They demand a lot of you.”
Neil Gaiman, Anansi Boys

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.
Carl Sandburg

If a woman rebels against high heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat.

George Bernard Shaw

Grab your coat, and get your hat, Leave your worry on the doorstep, Just direct your feet To the sunny side of the street.

Dorothy Fields, ‘On the Sunny Side of the Street’.

The way you wear your hat, The way you sip your tea, The mem’ry of all that No, no! They can’t take that away from me!

Ira originally Israel Gershowitz Gershwin
‘They Can’t  Take That  Away from Me’, song from the film musical Shall We Dance? (music by George Gershwin).

Women who love hats don’t get jealous.  It makes them happy to see a hat that looks good on someone else.  Women who wear hats know who they are.

Unknown

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The 04/11/13 Joy Jar

10 Apr

Have you ever noticed when one is looking for the mate to a pair of socks that match an outfit you want to wear, one sock is missing from the sock drawer. Moi spent a long time looking for a sock and still couldn’t find the sock she was looking for. Today’s deposit in the ‘Joy Jar’ is finding matching socks when moi wants them.

 

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

 

 

“Granny always said finding justice was as tough as putting socks on a rooster.”
Jessica Maria Tuccelli, Glow

 

 

 

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

Unknown

 

 

 

“Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark”

Dave Barry

 

 

“I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.”

Rod Schmidt

 

 

You couldn’t get far in my socks, never mind walking a mile in my shoes.

Unknown

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