Tag Archives: Values

The 09/27/13 Joy Jar

27 Sep

Moi began the ‘Joy Jar’ experiment almost a year ago. It will end on Christmas Day because Christmas represents rebirth and renewal. The experiment was about being grateful for something each day and just being grateful for each day. So far, it has been a success. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is strength.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Helen Keller

Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
Albert Einstein

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
Khalil Gibran

Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.
Winston Churchill

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.
John F. Kennedy

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.
Ernest Hemingway

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.
Leonardo da Vinci

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
Hermann Hesse

Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.
Leo Buscaglia

We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength.
Charles Stanley

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The 07/29/13 Joy Jar

29 Jul

Moi has had the opportunity to watch an extremely greedy person over a period of time. Everyone need s certain base level of money, mamman, $$ or whatever to meet basic needs. This individual’s needs for $$ are not so much to meet basic needs, but to make them feel that they are of some worth and because they are of some worth, their worth should be recognized. Moi finds them utterly repulsive. That emotion says quite a bit about moi as well. She is far from perfect and still a work on the Potter’s Wheel. Still, she strives on an aspirational level to make choices which are more in accord with a different view of life and a different view of how people should be treated. While moi chooses to stay as far away from this person as possible because she finds them repulsive. Moi needs to choose to work on seeing them as God sees us all, with Grace and as a work in progress. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is choice.

“We are our choices.”
Jean-Paul Sartre

“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with.”
Brodi Ashton, Everneath

“We don’t get to chose what is true. We only get to choose what we do about it.”
Kami Garcia, Beautiful Darkness

“I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose!”
Oscar Wilde

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
Tehyi Hsieh

“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.”
Leo Babauta

“Life is not a matter of chance…it is a matter of choice.”
Ka

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
Roy Disney

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The 07/25/13 Joy Jar

25 Jul

Moi read this story, Hassel Junior Barber, NY Homeless Man, Finds Wallet Containing $485 And Does ‘The Right Thing’ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/24/hassel-junior-barber_n_3644789.html
and she began thinking about how some folk have the character to do the right thing even when it is costly. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is doing the right thing even when it costs one.

Initiative is doing the right thing without being told.
Victor Hugo

“Doing whats right is never easy … You think you’re right, but you lose track of what you were trying to do all along and then there’s blood and screaming and death.Doing a bad thing for a good end just sours the good.”
Janice Hardy, Blue Fire

“If you boil it down, just because someone else does the wrong thing we are not exempt from doing what’s right.”
E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“Doing what’s right is seldom easy.”
Janice Hardy, The Shifter

“They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for their opinions… but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”
Albert Einstein

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.”
Frederick Douglass

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to
succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.”
Abraham Lincoln

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
Martin Luther King Jr.

Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C.S. Lewis

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The 07/08/13 Joy Jar

8 Jul

Moi did not get the slur OLD FART without reason. What was once a slur is now a badge of honor. So it is with principles as opposed to the thought fashion of the moment. What was once a slur, about sticking to one’s principles will over time become a badge of honor. Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar is sticking to one’s principles.

Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.
Abraham Lincoln

There are three constants in life… change, choice and principles.
Stephen Covey

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.
Thomas Paine

To me, consensus seems to be the process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values and policies. So it is something in which no one believes and to which no one objects.
Margaret Thatcher

Failure comes only when we forget our ideals and objectives and principles.
Jawaharlal Nehru

Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
Victor Hugo

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

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The 05/10/13 Joy Jar

9 May

Some of the most intolerant folk are those who are attempting to persuade others to their particular view or cause. Many folk simply want to make others carbon copies of them. Apparently, deviation from their ideas makes them insecure, they don’t feel that they have been ‘accepted’ whatever that means. The Macmillan Dictionary defines tolerance:

the attitude of someone who is willing to accept someone else‘s beliefs, way of life, etc. without criticizing them even if they disagree with them

Today’s deposit into the ‘Joy Jar’ is true tolerance.

“Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.”
Albert Einstein

“It’s an universal law– intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.”
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“In order to have faith in his own path, he does not need to prove that someone else’s path is wrong.”
Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light

“Tolerance isn’t about not having beliefs. It’s about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you.”
Timothy Keller

“If I do not believe as you believe, it proves that you do not believe as I believe, and that is all that it proves.”
Thomas Paine

“In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair…the sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die.”
Dorothy L. Sayers

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New national K-12 curriculum sexuality standards

10 Jan

The Journal of School Health has released the report, National Sexuality Education Standards: Core Content and Skills K-12

The goal of the National Sexuality Education Standards:

Core Content and Skills, K–12 is to provide clear, consistent and straightforward guidance on the essential minimum, core content for sexuality education that is developmentally and age-appropriate for students in grades K–12. The development of these standards is a result of an ongoing initiative, the Future of Sex Education (FoSE). Forty individuals from the fields of health education, sexuality education, public health, public policy, philanthropy and advocacy convened for a two-day meeting in December 2008 to create a strategic plan for sexuality education policy and implementation. A key strategic priority that emerged from this work was the creation of national sexuality education standards to advance the implementation of sexuality education in US public schools.

Specifically, the National Sexuality Education Standards were developed to address the inconsistent implementation of sexuality education nationwide and the limited time allocated to teaching the topic. Health education, which typically covers a broad range of topics including sexuality education, is given very little time in the school curriculum. According to the School Health Policies and Practices Study, a national survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Division of Adolescent School Health to assess school health policies and practices, a median total of 17.2 hours is devoted to instruction in HIV, pregnancy and STD prevention: 3.1 hours in elementary, 6 hours in middle and 8.1 hours in high school.1 Given these realities, the National Sexuality Education Standards were designed to:

• Outline what, based on research and extensive professional expertise, are the minimum, essential content and skills for sexuality education K–12 given student needs, limited teacher preparation and typically available time and resources.

• Assist schools in designing and delivering sexuality education K–12 that is planned, sequential and part of a comprehensive school health education approach.

• Provide a clear rationale for teaching sexuality education content and skills at different grade levels that is evidence-informed, age-appropriate and theorydriven.

• Support schools in improving academic performance by addressing a content area that is both highly relevant to students and directly related to high school graduation rates.

• Present sexual development as a normal, natural, healthy part of human development that should be a part of every health education curriculum.

• Offer clear, concise recommendations for school personnel on what is age-appropriate to teach students at different grade levels.

• Translate an emerging body of research related to school-based sexuality education so that it can be put into practice in the classroom.

http://www.futureofsexeducation.org/documents/josh-fose-standards-web.pdf

Envisioning the Future of Sex
Education: A Tool Kit for
States and Communities
The Future of Sex Education:
A Strategic Framework
(Executive Summary)
Select Comprehensive Sex
Education Programs
Evidence-Based Sex Education:
Compendiums and Programs
Lesson Plans
National Standards and
Assessment Tools

Erik Robelen of Education Week is preparing an article about how parents will react to these standards. See, New National Standards Address Sexuality Education for All Grades http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/curriculum/2012/01/from_guest_blogger_nirvi_shah.html  and New sex education standards released http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2017198343_apussexeducation.html

Parents must talk to their children about sex because the culture is talking to them. Cara Pallone of the Statesman Journal of Oregon has written an article about a Halloween incident which describes the cultural divide which currently exists in this culture. On the one hand, are the Sex and The City mavens who advocate sex with anything with a pulse. On the other hand, are those who espouse what is commonly described as traditional values and who advocate a bit more restraint. Pallone reports in the article, Condoms for Halloween Trick-Or-Treaters

Some teenage trick-or-treaters received condoms in their bags on Halloween night in Silverton.

For the couple who handed out the prophylactics, the act was a community service, health education and a message of pregnancy prevention.

For the father of one 14-year-old girl who got them, the act was an intrusion of family privacy and a violation of his right to raise his daughter as he wishes…..

Parents must be involved in the discussion of sex with their children and discuss THEIR values long before the culture has the chance to co-op the children. Hopefully incidents like this will prompt parents to have discussions about sex and values at an age appropriate time for their child. Parents have an absolute right to instill THEIR values into THEIR children as long as they are not abusive or neglectful.

In answer to the question of whether handing out condoms to kids on Halloween was OK?

Dr. Wilda says NO. This is a discussion for the child’s family.

Lisa Frederiksen has written the excellent article, 10 Tips for Talking to Teens About Sex,Drugs & Alcohol which was posted at the Partnership for A Drug-Free America

1. Talk early and talk often about sex. “Teens are thinking about sex from early adolescence and they’re very nervous about it,” explains Elizabeth Schroeder, EdD, MSW, Executive Director, Answer, a national sexuality education organization based at Rutgers University.  “They get a lot of misinformation about sex and what it’s supposed to be like. And as a result they think that if they take drugs, if they drink, that’s going to make them feel less nervous.”

Take this quiz to sharpen your talking skills.

2. Take a moment. What if your teen asks a question that shocks you? Dr. Schroeder suggests saying, “‘You know, that’s a great question.‘ or ‘I gotta tell you, I’m not sure if you’re being serious right now but I need a minute.‘” Then regain your composure and return to the conversation.

Learn how to handle personal questions from your teen like: “How old were you when you first had sex?” and “Have you ever used drugs?”

3. Be the source of accurate information. Beyond many school health classes, teens have lots of questions about drugs, pregnancy, condoms, abstinence and oral sex.

Find out what one mom discovered when she sat in on her daughter’s sex ed class.

4. Explain the consequences. Since teen brains aren’t wired yet for consequential thinking and impulse control, it’s important to have frank discussions with your teens about the ramifications of unprotected sex and the importance of using condoms to prevent the spread of STDs, HIV and unwanted pregnancy.

Find out how to guide your child toward healthy risks instead of dangerous ones.

5. Help your child figure out what’s right and wrong. Teens need — and want– limits.  When it comes to things like sexuality, drugs and alcohol, they want to know what the rules and consequences are.

6. Use teachable moments. Watch TV shows (like “16 and Pregnant,”  “Teen Mom,” “Jersey Shore” and “Greek”), movies, commercials, magazine ads and the news with your teen and ask “What did you think about that?” “What did you notice about how these characters interacted?”  “What did you think about the decisions they made?” For us, one of the best ways to talk about a number of heavy topics was to take a drive — that way we weren’t face-to-face.

7.  Explain yourself. Teens need to hear your rationale and why you feel the way you do. One approach is to talk about sex, drugs and alcohol in the context of your family’s values and beliefs.

One of the most challenging moments for me was when my daughters brought up the subject of intercourse.  I explained that my hope was they would not do it until they were in a committed, mutually caring relationship and that it would be a choice, not an attempt to hold onto a relationship and that it would be mutually satisfying.

8. Talk about “sexting.” Texting sexual images and messages is more prevalent than you may think. Read more.

9. Remember how you felt. I know when I started puberty I had many thoughts, feelings and questions that weren’t discussed in my family. Things like body changes, feelings of attraction, acne, weight gain, emotional confusion and the desire to push your parents away.  I wanted to help my daughters avoid that confusion.  I wanted them to understand early on that puberty is a hardwired, biological change that happens to all humans so they become interested in sex for the purposes of procreation. It’s natural to have impulses and feelings that are part and parcel to puberty. Teens don’t have control over these feelings and impulses, but they do have control over whether they act on them.

10. Persevere. Dr. Schroeder warns that your teenager may not want to talk — he or she may shrug and walk away. “Adolescents are supposed to behave in that way when inside what they’re really saying is ‘Keep talking to me about this. I need to know what you think. I’m trying to figure this out for myself as a teenager and if I don’t get messages from you, then I’m not going to know how to do this,’” she explains.

Parents are entitled to teach their values to their children. Increasingly, they must have “that” conversation earlier and earlier.

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

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It’s the culture and the values, stupid

4 Nov

James Carville once said, “it’s the economy, stupid” when describing the key campaign issue in an election. Moi wants to paraphrase, “it’s the culture and the values, stupid.” Felicity A. Morse of Huffington Post UK has posted the following article, Facebook: Children Young As Seven ‘Addicted To Social Networking’ which makes one wonder about the state of families.

Around 50% of seven to 12-year-olds use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites every day, according to a survey by consumer analysts Mintel.

For one million of these youngsters joining Facebook is viewed as a “rite of passage” and “an absolute must-have” according to the researchers. Only 5% of the youngsters surveyed didn’t use the site.

Peer pressure persuades kids where they go online, as nearly two-thirds of seven to twelve year-olds choose how to communicate depending on what sites their friends visit.
Twitter and Club Penguin rate the most highly after Facebook, though only 9% use Disney’s ‘social community’ every day.

Girls are most likely to fall victim to the pressures associated with social networking sites, with two thirds of those who value their mobile phone as a prized possession being female. Less than half of the boys surveyed gave the same result.

There’s similar trends for Facebook usage, with 10 to 12-year-old girls being the group most likely to use the site every day.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/11/03/facebook-twitter-addiction_n_1073252.html?ref=education&ir=Education

It is important for families to connect with each by participating in activities like family dinners and gasp, actually talking to each other.

Every week in the Seattle Stranger there is a column I, Anonymous , which gives one reader the chance to rant anonymously about any topic or person that has provoked such a reaction that venting and a good old fashion rant is necessary. Sometimes, the rants are poetic or touching. Most of the time, they are just plain hilarious. This is a recent rant, which is from a teacher, not an educator

I say hello with a big smile every morning as you shuffle in the door, but I secretly seethe with hatred for almost each and every one of you. Your stupidity and willful ignorance know no bounds. I have seen a lot of morons in my 10 years of teaching high school, but you guys take the cake. Your intellectual curiosity is nonexistent, your critical thinking skills are on par with that of a head trauma victim, and for a group of people who have never accomplished anything in their lives, you sure have a magnified sense of entitlement. I often wonder if your parents still wipe your asses for you, because you certainly don’t seem to be able to do anything on your own.
A handful of you are nice, sweet kids. That small group will go on and live a joyful and intellectual life filled with love, adventure, and discovery. The vast majority of you useless fuckwits will waste your life and follow in the footsteps of your equally pathetic parents. Enjoy your future of wage slavery and lower-middle-class banality.
Amazing how teachers are blamed for the state of education in this country. Look what you give us to work with. I am done trying to teach the unteachable.

Moi doesn’t blame most teachers for the state of education in this country, but puts the blame on the culture and the unprepared and disengaged parents that culture has produced. Moi also blames a culture of moral relativism as well which says there really are no preferred options. There are no boundaries, I can do what I feel is right for ME.

Moi is a “bus chick.” My principle mode of transport is the bus. On a recent adventure, I had just finished grocery shopping and had a bunch of bags. I was waiting at the corner for the light to change and the walk sign to come on. A disheveled man slowly staggered across the street and the stench, which enveloped him, preceded him.  The light was green and he was crossing the street. Cars stopped and honked their horns, but he was oblivious. He got across the street to my corner. The walk sign came on and I crossed the street to catch my bus. The bus was there and the driver had all the doors and windows open. It was raining, but the driver said I could board early. He explained that one prior passenger had some “issues.” I told him that I had encountered that passenger. We began a conversation while waiting for the bus to depart.  

I told him I had seen the man crossing the street and I wondered what his story was. All children start life with so much promise, I said. At some point in the conservation, we started talking about families and he said let me tell you about my family and he did. I listened.

He has been living with a woman for several years and there is no thought of ever marrying.  He has four sons, the youngest is 19 years old. The older ones are sort of doing OK. The younger one had lived with him and his girlfriend for a while, but he didn’t take to school and didn’t want to study. His girlfriend didn’t want to be a “hall monitor” and there were personality differences between the girlfriend and the son. So, the son moved out and is living elsewhere, but his life is troubled. The girlfriend was married to a very abusive guy and she left him. She has four children, the oldest is 33 and has been depressed her whole life. She had a bout with meth and is currently taking a buffet of antidepressants. She has two children, a ten year old and a two year old. The ten year old’s father said he never wanted children and this woman had him to keep the father in the relationship. Of course he bolted and is a sporadic interference in the life of this child. The 10 year old has problems and for a time the girlfriend had sole custody because mom was such a druggie.  The two year old is a girl and mom is still breastfeeding her. Since she takes a buffet of antidepressants, the child is getting the drug cocktail through the breast milk.  This little girl is slow and does not have the speech that one would expect of a two year old.

The girlfriend’s other three children are not fairing much better. The 33 year old was kinda conceived to hold the girlfriend’s first marriage together. That obviously didn’t work. The girlfriend’s first husband had an affair and a baby outside that marriage. So, to patch things up, the first husband agreed to let her have the second daughter. She isn’t doing so well, either. The other two children were in his words, “mistakes.” The girlfriend’s youngest child is a 16 year old with extreme anger issues. The driver mentioned he slapped the kid when he tried to hit the girlfriend. They got into an argument about the kid slapping her. According to the driver, the kid routinely calls his mother slut and whore. He says he will let that pass, but if he tries to hit his girlfriend, he will intervene again.

Thankfully, it was time for the bus to leave and some other passengers came aboard. When I got to my stop, I thanked the driver for the ride and sent Blessings to his family.
Moi knows that many want to define a family in many different ways, but a true family offers children a sense of continuity, stability, and security. Many modern couplings are transitory and the number of partners cycling through children’s lives in these serial relationships can sometimes be staggering. Many who rail against the children in the education system and their perceived deficiencies ought to ask themselves if you promoted the cultural and societal values which produced them.

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

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