Tag Archives: Children and Families

Schools have to deal with depressed and troubled children

15 Nov

Both the culture and the economy are experiencing turmoil. For some communities, the unsettled environment is a new phenomenon, for other communities, children have been stressed for generations. According to the article, Understanding Depression which was posted at the Kids Health site:

Depression is the most common mental health problem in the United States. Each year it affects 17 million people of all age groups, races, and economic backgrounds.

As many as 1 in every 33 children may have depression; in teens, that number may be as high as 1 in 8.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/understanding_depression.html

Schools are developing strategies to deal with troubled kids.

Anna M. Phillips has written the New York Times article, Calming Schools by Focusing on Well-Being of Troubled Students which describes how one New York school is dealing with its troubled children.

Mark Ossenheimer, principal of the Urban Assembly School for Wildlife Conservation in the Bronx, threw out a name to add to the list of teenagers in trouble.

Several teachers and a social worker seated around a table in the school’s cramped administrative offices nodded in agreement. They had watched the student, who had a housebound parent who was seriously ill, sink into heavy depression. Another child seemed to be moving from apartment to apartment, showing up at school only sporadically. And then there was the one grappling with gender-identity issues. Soon the list had a dozen names of students who could shatter a classroom’s composure or a school windowpane in a second.

Convening the meeting was Turnaround for Children, a nonprofit organization that the young-but-faltering school in an impoverished neighborhood near the Bronx Zoo had brought in this year to try to change things.

“This is the condition our organization was created to solve,” said Dr. Pamela Cantor, Turnaround’s founder and president. “A teacher who works in a community like this and thinks that these children can leave their issues at the door and come in and perform is dreaming.”

In focusing on students’ psychological and emotional well-being, in addition to academics, Turnaround occupies a middle ground between the educators and politicians who believe schools should be more like community centers, and the education-reform movement, with its no-excuses mantra. Over the past decade, the movement has argued that schools should concentrate on what high-quality, well-trained teachers can achieve in classrooms, rather than on the sociological challenges beyond their doors.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/15/nyregion/calming-schools-through-a-sociological-approach-to-troubled-students.html?hpw

One strategy in helping children to succeed is to recognize and treat depression.

How Common Is Depression In Children?      

According to Mary H. Sarafolean, PhD in the article, Depression In School Age Children and Adolescents

In general, depression affects a person’s physical,  cognitive, emotional/affective, and motivational well-being, no matter  their age. For example, a child with depression between the ages of 6 and 12 may exhibit fatigue, difficulty with schoolwork, apathy and/or a lack of motivation. An adolescent or teen may be oversleeping, socially isolated, acting out in self-destructive ways and/or have a sense of hopelessness.

Prevalence and Risk Factors

While only 2 percent of pre-teen school-age children and 3-5 percent of teenagers have clinical depression, it is the most common diagnosis of children in a clinical setting (40-50 percent of diagnoses). The lifetime risk  of depression in females is 10-25 percent and in males, 5-12 percent. Children and teens who are considered at high risk for depression disorders include:

* children referred to a mental health provider for school problems
* children with medical problems
* gay and lesbian adolescents
* rural vs. urban adolescents
* incarcerated adolescents
* pregnant adolescents
* children with a family history of depression      

If you or your child has one or more of the risk factors and your child is exhibiting symptoms of prolonged sadness, it might be wise to have your child evaluated for depression. 

How to Recognize Depression In Your Child?     

MedNet has an excellent article about Depression In Children and how to recognize signs of depression in your child.

Signs and symptoms of depression in children include:       

* Irritability or anger
* Continuous feelings of sadness, hopelessness
* Social withdrawal
* Increased sensitivity to rejection
* Changes in appetite — either increased or decreased
* Changes in sleep — sleeplessness or excessive sleep
* Vocal outbursts or crying
* Difficulty concentrating
* Fatigue and low energy
* Physical complaints (such as stomachaches, headaches) that do not respond to
treatment
* Reduced  ability to function during events and activities at home or with friends, in school, extracurricular activities, and in other hobbies or  interests

* Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
* Impaired thinking or concentration
* Thoughts of death or suicide        

Not all children have all of these symptoms. In fact, most will  display different symptoms at different times and in different settings.  Although some children may continue to function reasonably well in  structured environments, most kids with significant depression will  suffer a noticeable change in social activities, loss of interest in  school and poor academic performance, or a change in appearance.  Children may also begin using drugs or alcohol,
especially if they are  over the age of 12.

The best defense for parents is a good awareness of what is going on with their child. As a parent you need to know what is going on in your child’s world.

Resources:

  1. About.Com’s Depression In Young Children
  2. Psych Central’s Depression In Young Children
  3. Psychiatric News’ Study Helps Pinpoint Children With Depression
  4. Family Doctor’s What Is Depression?
  5. WebMD’s Depression In Children
  6. Healthline’s Is Your Child Depressed?
  7. Medicine.Net’s Depression In Children

If you or your child needs help for depression or another illness, then go to a reputable medical provider. There is nothing wrong with taking the steps necessary to get well.

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

 

Tags: , , , ,

A no-brainer: Early childhood learning

14 Nov

Most parents no matter their class or ethnicity want to give their children a good start in life. A key building block to a solid education foundation is preschool. Changing family patterns make full day kindergarten an importation option. Adoption.Com provides a good overview of the history of full day kindergarten

CHANGES IN FAMILY PATTERNS

Among the changes that make full-day kindergarten attractive to many families are the following:

–An increase in the number of working parents. The number of mothers of children under six who work outside the home increased 34 percent from 1970 to 1980 (Evans and Marken 1983). In 1984, 48 percent of children under six had mothers in the labor force (The National Commission on Working Women 1985)

–An increase in the number of children with preschool or day care experience. Since the mid-1970s most children have had some kind of preschool experience in Head Start, day care, private preschools, or in early childhood programs in the public schools. These experiences have provided children’s first encounters with daily organized instructional and social activities before kindergarten (Herman 1984)

–An increase in the influence of television and family mobility. These two factors have produced 5-year-olds who seem more knowledgeable about their world and are apparently more ready for a full-day school experience than the children of previous generations

–Renewed interest in academic preparation for later school success. Even when both do not work outside the home, parents are interested in the contribution of early childhood programs (including full-day kindergarten) to later school success.

The article also discusses the pros and cons of full day kindergarten.

Valerie Strauss of the Washington Post reported on a recent conference about early learning in the article, Early childhood education again in spotlight:

Q.What does “high quality” mean when talking about early education programs?

W. Steven Barnett, co-director of the National Institute for Early Education Research at Rutgers University, said that quality programs for 3- and 4-year-olds develop skills and knowledge in language and literacy, math, science, social studies and the arts, while also addressing social, emotional and physical development. The Center for the Child Care Workforce says that such programs also have qualified and well-paid staff, low staff turnover, low student-teacher ratios, provision of comprehensive social services and nurturing environments, and periodic licensing and/or accreditation. The results of such programs, research shows, are students who succeed better academically, graduate from high school more often and are more economically productive later in life. Economic impact studies have shown that every $1 invested in early childhood education saves taxpayers up to $13 in future costs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/early-childhood-education-again-in-spotlight/2011/10/06/gIQAwMNVYL_story.html

The goal should be to enroll as many children as possible in early learning programs.

A good summary of the benefits of all day kindergarten is provided by the Indiana Department of Education.

  • Teachers reported significantly greater progress for full-day children in literacy, math, general learning skills, and social skills. Full-day kindergarten children spend more time in teacher-directed individual work and learning centers. Elicker and Mathur (1997) found that full-day kindergarten allowed children to be more actively engaged and more positive in their activities.
  • Researchers find strong support for quality full-day kindergarten programs among parents and educators. Parents and educators report that full-day kindergarten is less rushed with opportunities for extending learning experiences, flexibility to address individual students’ needs and better communication between home and school (Elicker and Mathur, 1997; Hough and Bryde, 1996; Wichita Public Schools, 1989).
  • The full-day schedule allows more appropriate challenges for children at all developmental levels. For advanced students, there is time to complete increasingly challenging long-term projects. For children with developmental delays or those “at-risk” for school problems, there is more time for completion of projects and more time for teacher/student interaction.
  • Full-day kindergarten programs can result in social benefits. In a longitudinal study by J.R. Cryan (1992), children in full-day kindergarten programs showed more positive behavior than their peers in half-day kindergarten in the areas of originality, independent learning, involvement in classroom activities, productivity with their peers, and their approach to the teacher.
  • Full-day kindergarten programs can result in academic benefits. Research analyzing twenty-three studies of full-day kindergarten indicated that “overall, students who attend full-day kindergartens manifest significantly greater achievement than students who attend half-day kindergarten” (Child Study Journal, 27(4), 273). Full-day kindergarten children have fewer grade retentions and lower incidence of Title I placements (Cryan, 1992).
  • School corporations in Indiana that currently provide full-day kindergarten also find academic and social benefits. A longitudinal study of full-day kindergarten in the Evansville-Vanderburgh School Corporation revealed academic, social and behavioral benefits. On standardized tests, full-day kindergarten children performed significantly better than half-day kindergarten children in third, fifth, and seventh grade on the CTBS.
  • The number of transitions kindergartners face in a typical day can be reduced by full-day kindergarten. Due to family work schedules, children who attend half-day may be cared for by three or more care givers over the course of a day. While full-day kindergarten does not eliminate the need for child care outside of school (Elicker and Mathur, 1997), many parents, who are given the option, prefer full-day because children may have fewer transitions.
  • Two-way transportation can be an important benefit of full-day kindergarten. Currently, most school corporations in Indiana only provide one-way transportation for half-day kindergarten students. There are a number of children in Indiana who are unable to attend kindergarten because their parent(s) do not have access to transportation during the day.

Peggy Gisler, Ed.S. and Marge Eberts, Ed.S have a Kindergarten Readiness Checklist of skills your child should have mastered by the time they enter kindergarten. Two other good articles are Ellen H. Parlapiano’s Ready for Kindergarten? and BabyCenter’s Kindergarten Readiness: Is Your Child Ready For School?

Early childhood learning should prepare children for learning and help with socialization. Alison Gopnik has an excellent article in Slate which reports about the results of two new studies, Why Preschool Shouldn’t Be Like School which argues against strict academic programs in preschool. Kate Zernike has an excellent in the New York Times about how some children are literally being pushed out of childhood. In Fast-Tracking to Kindergarten?  Zernike writes:

Research suggests that there is little benefit from this kind of tutoring; that young children learn just as much about math, if not more, fitting mixing bowls together on the kitchen floor. But programs like Kumon are gaining from, and generating, parents’ anxiety about what kind of preparation their children will need — and whether parents themselves have what it takes to provide it….

“The best you can say is that they’re useless,” said Alison Gopnik, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, who compared the escalation of supplemental education with Irish elk competing to see which had the biggest antlers.

A key building block to a solid education foundation is preschool. There are many different considerations in selecting a preschool. The overall considerations should center on the quality of the preschool and whether it meets the needs of the child. For some, those concerns take a back seat to whether the preschool is the “right” place rather than the appropriate place. “Right” meaning where the parents and child can mingle with the “right” sort or type. The focus of moi’s comment is to urge parents to look at what will in the long term make a happy, healthy, well adjusted child who is secure enough to take on the challenges of life. Nothing in life is guaranteed, even to the most well connected. How one copes with survival in a world that often presents challenges, which upend what people thought they knew, depends on internal fortitude and a sense of security. 

For a variety of reasons, despite the budget mess, we need to INVEST in children.  

A healthy child in a healthy family who attends a healthy school in a healthy neighborhood ©

Resources

  1. Pew Center Pre K Now
  2. National Conference of State Legislatures Resources on Kindergarten
  3. Education Commission of the States, Full Day Kindergarten: A Study of State Policies in the United States

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , , ,

Children too sexy for their years

11 Nov

Maybe, because some parents may not know what is age appropriate for their attire, they haven’t got a clue about what is appropriate for children. There is nothing sadder than a 40 something, 50 something trying to look like they are twenty. What wasn’t sagging when you are 20, is more than likely than not, sagging now.

Kristen Russell Dobson, the managing editor of Parent Map, has a great article in Parent Map. In Are Girls Acting Sexy Too Young?  Dobson says:

A 2003 analysis of TV sitcoms found gender harassment in nearly every episode. Most common: jokes about women’s sexuality or women’s bodies, and comments that characterized women as sex objects. And according to the 2007 Report of the American Psychological Association’s Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls, “Massive exposure to media among youth creates the potential for massive exposure to portrayals that sexualize women and girls and teach girls that women are sexual objects.”

Those messages can be harmful to kids because they make sex seem common — even normal — among younger and younger kids. In So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids, co-authors Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., and Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D., write that “sex in commercial culture has far more to do with trivializing and objectifying sex than with promoting it, more to do with consuming than with connecting. The problem is not that sex as portrayed in the media is sinful, but that it is synthetic and cynical.”

http://www.parentmap.com/article/are-girls-acting-sexy-too-young

The culture seems to be sexualizing children at an ever younger age and it becomes more difficult for parents and guardians to allow children to just remain, well children, for a bit longer. Still, parents and guardians must do their part to make sure children are in safe and secure environments. A pole dancing fourth grader is simply unacceptable.

The most recent example of the culture sexualizing women involves starlet, Dakota Fanning. Sean Poulter is reporting in the Daily Mail article, Dakota Fanning’s ‘Lolita’ perfume ad for Marc Jacobs is banned for ‘sexualising children’

A perfume advertisement featuring teen actress Dakota Fanning has been banned on the basis it appeared to ‘sexualise a child’.

The actress is 17, but she looked younger in the magazine ad for ‘Oh Lola!’, where she was sitting on the floor with the perfume bottle between her thighs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2059097/Dakota-Fannings-sexually-provocative-perfume-ad-banned.html#ixzz1dImHgIQP

Moi loves fashion and adores seeing adult looks on adults. Many 20 and 30 somethings prefer what I would charitably call the “slut chic” look. This look is questionable fashion taste, in my opinion, but at least the look involves questionable taste on the part of adults as to how they present themselves to the public.

Jamie Stengle of AP has an article which was reprinted in the Seattle Times, Parents, Doctors Debate Teetering Tots in Heels  The only thing I can say about these parents is they probably need their heads examined.

Young and often impressionable teens think that Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan (LiLo), despite all evidence to the contrary, have it together because of the fame or infamy, the clothes, and the money. It is no wonder that Candace Bushnell of the Sex and the City $$$$$ franchise is laughing all the way to the bank while stepping over the bodies of those who bought into her philosophy. Here is what LiLo said in the Entertainment News article, Lindsay Lohan’s Life Inspired By ‘Sex in the City.’

Lindsay Lohan has hailed seminal sitcom Sex and the City for inspiring her dating philosophy.
Even though Lohan was only 12 years old when the Sarah Jessica Parker-starring comedy started, the Mean Girls star admits she loves having open and casual relationships with men, like Sex and the City characters Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbs, Samantha Jones and Charlotte York.
She says, “Sex and the City changed everything for me, because those girls would just sleep with so many people.”
Lohan admits she has double standards about her open attitude to relationships–she wants to be able to sleep with whomever she chooses, but doesn’t want to share her male companions.

At least one parent is sending caution alerts about the Sex and the City philosophy and young women. Dave Taylor is a father who writes the Attachment Parenting blog. This is what he says in the post, I Don’t Want to Meet Candace Bushell’s Sex and the City Women as Teens

Joy Sewing of the Houston Chronicle reported in the blog post, Walmart Offers Make-Up andAnti-aging Products for 8-Year-Olds that Walmart is aiming a line of make-up at “tweens.”

Moi supposes there are a group of parents who don’t want conflict and give in because “everyone else is doing it.” Remember the everyone else is often the lowest common denominator. Some parents feel they must be their child’s BFF. Wrong. You are supposed to be the parent. Some one has to be in charge. Russell provide some excellent resources for managing the media. Find resources for managing media here.

Resources

  1. Popwatch’s Miley Cyrus Pole Dance Video
  2. Baby Center Blog Comments About Miley Cyrus Pole Dance
  3. The Sexualization of Children

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , , ,

New study about substance abuse and kids

9 Nov

Huffington Post is reporting on a new study which looks at substance abuse among adolescents in the article, Teen Drug And Alcohol Use Lowest Among Blacks, Asians:

“There is certainly still a myth out there that black kids are more likely to have problems with drugs than white kids, and this documents as clearly as any study we’re aware of that the rate of … substance-related disorders among African American youths is significantly lower,” Dan Blazer from Duke’s Department of Psychiatry, a senior author of the study, told the Raleigh News & Observer….

Few teens used heroin, but of those who reported use, a quarter were using it abusively. Teens reported using marijuana more than any other drug, with 13 percent of those surveyed reporting marijuana use in the last year, followed by 7 percent reported having used prescription pain killers.

“A lack of cultural competence is identified as a major gap, as insensitivity to cultural differences can limit the ability to treat and retain minority adolescents,” the researchers write in their report. “Taken together, these findings call for efforts to identify and expand prevention measures that are culturally effective and address the quality and acceptability of treatment for adolescents with substance use problems.”

A separate report released in June supported previous research that early substance use affects the likelihood of abuse in adulthood. The study, by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University showed that 90 percent of Americans who are current substance abusers started using drugs or alcohol before they turned 18.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/08/teen-drug-and-alcohol-use_n_1082219.html?ref=education

What is Substance Abuse?

HELPGUIDE.ORG defines substance abuse and also describes some of the traits of a substance abuser. Although, the focus of this article is children and teens who abuse various substances, there is a widespread problem with their parents and caretakers. A recent report found that many children live with parents who are substance abusers

Often children who evidence signs of a substance abuse problem come from homes where there is a substance abuse problem. That problem may be generational. eMedicineHealth lists some of the causes of substance abuse.

Substance abuse is often a manifestation of other problems that child has either at home or poor social relations including low self esteem. Dr. Alan Leshner summarizes the reasons children use drugs in why do Sally and Johnny use drugs?

How Can You Recognize the Signs of Substance Abuse?

Parents provides general signs of substance abuse and also gives specific signs of alcohol abuse, and several different drugs, narcotics, and inhalants. The general warning signs are:

·         Changes in friends

·         Negative changes in schoolwork, missing school, or declining grades

·         Increased secrecy about possessions or activities

·         Use of incense, room deodorant, or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors

·         Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g. more secretive, using “coded” language

·         Change in clothing choices: new fascination with clothes that highlight drug use

·         Increase in borrowing money

·         Evidence of drug paraphernalia such as pipes, rolling papers, etc.

·         Evidence of use of inhalant products (such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, common

household products); Rags and paper bags are sometimes used as accessories

·         Bottles of eye drops, which may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils

·         New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol

·         Missing prescription drugs—especially narcotics and mood stabilizers

Remember, these are very general signs, specific drugs, narcotics, and other substances may have different signs, it is important to read the specific signs.

What Steps Should a Parent Take?

The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has a series of questions parents should ask 

If you suspect that your child has a substance abuse problem, you will have to seek help of some type. You will need a plan of action. The Partnership for a Drug Free America lists 7 Steps to Take and each step is explained at the site.

If your child has a substance abuse problem, both you and your child will need help. “One day at a time” is a famous recovery affirmation which you and your child will live the meaning. The road to recovery may be long or short, it will have twists and turns with one step forward and two steps back. In order to reach the goal of recovery, both parent and child must persevere.

Questions to Ask a Treatment Facility

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (Center), lists the following questions that should be asked of a treatment center. Assuming you are not one of those ill-advised parents who supply their child with alcohol or drugs like marijuana in an attempt to be hip or cool, suspicions that your child may have a substance abuse problem are a concern. Confirmation that your child has a substance abuse problem can be heartbreaking. Even children whose parents have seemingly done everything right can become involved with drugs. The best defense is knowledge about your child, your child’s friends, and your child’s activities

Resources

Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base

Warning Signs of Teen Drug Abuse

Is Your Teen Using?

Al-Anon and Alateen

Center for Substance Abuse Publications

National Clearinghouse for Drug and Alcohol Information

WEBMD: Parenting and Teen Substance Abuse

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has a very good booklet for families What is Substance Abuse Treatment?

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has a web site for teens and parents that teaches about drug abuse NIDA for Teens: The Science Behind Drug Abuse

Here is the citation to the study:

Racial/Ethnic Variations in Substance-Related Disorders Among Adolescents in the United States

Li-Tzy Wu, ScD; George E. Woody, MD; Chongming Yang, PhD; Jeng-Jong Pan, PhD; Dan G. Blazer, PhD, MD

Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2011;68(11):1176-1185. doi:10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2011.120

Results  Of 72 561 adolescents aged 12 to 17 years, 37.0% used alcohol or drugs in the past year; 7.9% met criteria for a substance-related disorder, with Native Americans having the highest prevalence of use (47.5%) and disorder (15.0%). Analgesic opioids were the second most commonly used illegal drugs, following marijuana, in all racial/ethnic groups; analgesic opioid use was comparatively prevalent among adolescents of Native American (9.7%) and multiple race/ethnicity (8.8%). Among 27 705 past-year alcohol or drug users, Native Americans (31.5%), adolescents of multiple race/ethnicity (25.2%), adolescents of white race/ethnicity (22.9%), and Hispanics (21.0%) had the highest rates of substance-related disorders. Adolescents used marijuana more frequently than alcohol or other drugs, and 25.9% of marijuana users met criteria for marijuana abuse or dependence. After controlling for adolescents’ age, socioeconomic variables, population density of residence, self-rated health, and survey year, adjusted analyses of adolescent substance users indicated elevated odds of substance-related disorders among Native Americans, adolescents of multiple race/ethnicity, adolescents of white race/ethnicity, and Hispanics compared with African Americans; African Americans did not differ from Asians or Pacific Islanders.

Conclusions  Substance use is widespread among adolescents of Native American, white, Hispanic, and multiple race/ethnicity. These groups also are disproportionately affected by substance-related disorders.

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/68/11/1176

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , ,

Penn State abuse claims: Sometimes silence is not golden

8 Nov

Most caring and involved parents want to nurture the talents and potential of their children. It is not unusual for parents to spend money to provide academic tutoring or if the child is musical, to hire a voice or instrument coach. Many parents often hire private athletic coaches to develop their children’s talent and are quite flattered when their child is invited to a college setting. For parents of disadvantaged children, sports is often seen as a ticket out of poverty. Many think this the way for a college scholarship.

Pete Thamel is reporting in the New York Times article, State Officials Blast Penn State in Sandusky Case that there were several opportunities over the years to uncover the alleged abuse at Penn State.

The Pennsylvania attorney general and the state police commissioner excoriated Penn State officials on Monday for failing over several years to alert the authorities to possible sexual abuse of young boys by a prominent football assistant.

They said the university employees who declined to report the incidents to the police put countless more children at risk of being abused by Jerry Sandusky, the longtime assistant who has been charged with sexually abusing eight boys over a 15-year span, including during his tenure as an assistant at Penn State.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/08/sports/ncaafootball/penn-states-paterno-is-not-a-target-in-sexual-abuse-inquiry.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

Among the opportunities to uncover the alleged abuse reported by Thamel were:

Even after Sandusky “made admissions about inappropriate contact in the shower room” in 1998 to the Penn State campus police, “Nothing happened,” Noonan said. “Nothing stopped.”

He said that janitors witnessed a sexual act in the football facility’s showers two years later, and still “nothing changed, nothing stopped,” because the janitors feared for their jobs and did not report the incident. Then, in 2002, according to prosecutors, another sex act involving Sandusky and a young boy was witnessed by a Penn State graduate assistant coach, who reported it to Coach Joe Paterno — yet the police still were not contacted.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/08/sports/ncaafootball/penn-states-paterno-is-not-a-target-in-sexual-abuse-inquiry.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

What makes this alleged crime so particularly heinous, if true, is that the children often came from disadvantaged backgrounds. This was a conspiracy of silence.

The American Humane Association has some great resources about abuse. In their article, Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect, reasons why some do not report abuse are given:

Why Don’t Some People Report Child Abuse and Neglect?

Among the most frequently identified reasons for not reporting are lack of knowledge about child abuse and neglect and lack of familiarity with state reporting laws. Other reasons people don’t report include:

In the case of powerful institutions like the Catholic Church and Penn State University, a culture of silence and fear develops which makes it impossible to stop current abuse and prevent future abuse. The abusers are often powerful or protected by the powerful for a variety of reasons. The abuse must be uncovered and dealt with. Silence only helps the abusers.

There are certain signs that your child is being groomed by a sex predator and you should be alert for those signs. Dr. Phil has an excellent article Is Your Child Being Groomed by a Predator?  Among the signs are:

·         You’re vulnerable if you are a single parent and lack time to spend with your child.

·         You’re vulnerable if you are desperate for help from outsiders.

·         If your child is from a broken or unstable home, pedophiles recognize this, and use it as a way to get inside.

·         If there is someone in your life who has a really unusual, too-good-to-be-true interest in your child, it probably is too good to be true.

·         If someone lavishes gifts on your child, and the person has unusual knowledge of kids’ popular interests — what shows they like, what music they like — pedophiles brief themselves on those things.

·         Your child receives mail, gifts or packages from someone you don’t know.

·         If this person shows up without a child at child-intensive events and locations, that’s a problem.

·         If you’re dealing with a person who always offers and angles for alone time with your child, you need to be very concerned.

·         Is your child spending large amounts of time online, especially at night?

·         Does your child use an online account that belongs to someone else?

·         Have you found pornography on your child’s computer?

·         Your child receives phone calls from men you don’t know or is making calls to numbers you don’t recognize.

·         Take notice if your child turns off the computer monitor quickly or changes the screen on the monitor when you come into the room.

·         Is your child withdrawing from family?  

Parents must be vigilant and monitor those who come into contact with their children. If your gut tells you that something is not quite right, follow your instincts and investigate.

In some instances, silence is definitely not golden.

Articles you might find useful are: 

  1. Victim Grooming: Protecting Your Child from Sex Predators
  2. The Grooming Process of a Child Sex Predator
  3. How Pedophiles Groom Victims 

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , ,

Hard truths: The failure of the family

6 Nov

This is a problem which never should have been swept under the carpet and if the chattering classes, politicians, and elite can’t see the magnitude of this problem, they are not just brain dead, they are flat-liners. There must be a new women’s movement, this time it doesn’t involve the “me first” philosophy of the social “progressives” or the elite who in order to validate their own particular life choices espouse philosophies that are dangerous or even poisonous to those who have fewer economic resources. This movement must urge women of color to be responsible for their reproductive choices. They cannot have children without having the resources both financial and having a committed partner. For all the talk of genocide involving the response and aftermath of Katrina, the real genocide is self-inflicted.

One of the mantras of this blog is that education is a partnership between the student, parent(s) or guardian(s), teacher(s), and the school. All parts of the partnership must be involved. 

Christine Mac Donald is reporting in the Detroit News, Worthy Proposes jail For Parents Who Skip Kids’ Conferences    Now, the Detroit Free Press is reporting that the Detroit Public Schools have come up with a department store “rewards program” to get parents to participate in their children’s lives. Peggy Walsh-Sarecki reports about the program in the article, DPS Has Perks For Parents

Jesse Washington of AP wrote a comprehensive article which details the magnitude of the disaster which is occurring in the African American community. In the article, Blacks Struggle With 72% Unwed Mother Rate Washington sounds an alarm which if you can’t hear it, makes you deaf.

This is not about racism or being elitist. This is about survival of an indigenous American culture. This is not about “speaking the truth to power,” it is about speaking the truth. The truth is children need two parents to help them develop properly and the majority of single parent headed families will live in poverty. Children from single parent homes have more difficult lives. So called “progressives” who want to make their “Sex and the City” life style choices the norm because they have a difficult time dealing with the emotional wreckage of their lives, need to shut-up when it comes to the survival of the African American community. This is an issue that the so called educated classes and religious communities have to get involved in.

Trip Gabriel reported about more fallout from the failure of the African American family in the New York Times. In Proficiency of Black Students Is Found to Be Far Lower Than Expected Gabriel goes on to describe the situation:

An achievement gap separating black from white students has long been documented — a social divide extremely vexing to policy makers and the target of one blast of school reform after another.

But a new report focusing on black males suggests that the picture is even bleaker than generally known.

Only 12 percent of black fourth-grade boys are proficient in reading, compared with 38 percent of white boys, and only 12 percent of black eighth-grade boys are proficient in math, compared with 44 percent of white boys….

This next comment is in no way PC. Prosecutor Worthy is correct that parents MUST be involved in the lives of their children. Problem is, jailing them will not force the majority of them into meaningful involvement and interaction with their child. Society has a couple of options to counter the “it’s my life and I’ll do what I want” philosophy. The first is discouraging and condemning out-of –wedlock births, particularly among low-income women. Too bad the First Lady doesn’t want to take this one on. The second thing is to intervene early and terminate the rights of negligent and abusive parents, freeing children up for adoption earlier. Finally, this society needs to support adoptive parents with financial and counseling resources. Not PC, but there it is.

Michael J. Petrilli writes in the article, We Have a Parenting Problem, Not a Poverty Problem at Huffington Post what moi has been saying for years and years:

So let’s get specific: What can parents do to increase the chances of their children doing well in school? Let’s just start with the zero-to-five years.

  1. Wait until you’ve graduated from high school and you’re married to have children.
  2. Stay married.
  3. Don’t drink or smoke when you’re pregnant.
  4. Get regular pre-natal check-ups.
  5. Nurse your baby instead of using a bottle.
  6. Talk and sing to your baby a lot.
  7. As you child grows, be firm but loving.
  8. Limit TV-watching, especially in the early years.
  9. Spark your child’s curiosity by taking field trips to parks, museums, nature centers, etc.
  10. Read, baby, read.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-j-petrilli/parenting-education_b_1076064.html?ref=education

If you are a young unmarried woman of any color, you probably do not have the resources either emotional or financial to parent a child(ren). If you don’t care about your future, care about the future of your child. If you want to sleep with everything that has a pulse, that is your choice. BUT, you have no right to choose a life of poverty and misery and misery for a child. As for those so called “progressives?” Just shut-up.

Michael Jackson said it best with the lyrics to Man in the Mirror

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , , ,

Mississippi’s proposed abortion law: Lives in the balance

6 Nov

Moi blogs about education issues so the reader could be perplexed sometimes because moi often writes about other things like nutrition, families, and personal responsibility issues. Why? The reader might ask? Because children will have the most success in school if they are ready to learn. Ready to learn includes proper nutrition for a healthy body and the optimum situation for children is a healthy family. Many of societies’ problems would be lessened if the goal was a healthy child in a healthy family. There is a lot of economic stress in the country now because of unemployment and underemployment. Children feel the stress of their parents and they worry about how stable their family and living situation is. The best way to eliminate poverty is job creation, job growth, and job retention. The Asian Development Bank has the best concise synopsis of the link between Education and Poverty.

For a good article about education and poverty which also has a good bibliography, go to Poverty and Education, Overview So in choosing to comment on the attack of the knuckle dragging idiots against Planned Parenthood, is moi possibly open to the charge that she favors abortion or advocates mass scale abortion? Far from it. Moi considers abortion to be murder. Still, there is no way that this society is going to force women to carry to term a child they truly do not want. This society should be encouraging adoption. For an example of the complications from a rigid program of denying reproductive choice go to Scott Sunde’s Seattle PI.Com, Newborn Found In Hospital Trash Can.

It is very unsettling the attacks on Planned Parenthood by knuckle dragging idiots because Planned Parenthood provides basic health care for many women. Laura Bassett has an excellent post at Huffington Post, Planned Parenthood Defunded In New Hampshire about the consequences to women in New Hampshire:

Until July 1, a low-income New Hampshire woman paid an average of $5 to fill a birth control pill prescription at any of the state’s six Planned Parenthood clinics. She might have even gotten the birth control for free, depending on her poverty level.

But since the New Hampshire Executive Council voted to cancel the state’s contract with Planned Parenthood, a woman now has to pay anywhere from $40 to over $100 for birth control pills at a regular pharmacy.

The latest battle in the Planned Parenthood front is occurring in Mississippi.
Before discussing that battle, here are a few facts from the National Center for Children In Poverty about Mississippi:

In Mississippi, there are 398,312 families, with 746,486 children. Among these children, 54 percent live in families that are low-income, defined as income below twice the federal poverty level (nationally, 42 percent of children live in low-income families). Young children are particularly likely to live in low-income families.

Low wages and a lack of higher education contribute to families having insufficient incomes. Nationally, 46 percent of low-income children have at least one parent who works full-time, year-round; in Mississippi, the figure is 45 percent.

Parents without a college education often struggle to earn enough to support a family, but only 19 percent of adults in Mississippi have a bachelor’s degree. A substantial portion of children in Mississippi whose parents only have a high school diploma—72 percent—are low income.
http://www.nccp.org/profiles/MS_profile_48.html

According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution article, 19 percent of Georgians on food stamps; Mississippi at 21.5 percent:

Georgia had 1,851,586 people on food stamps in August, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, as noted in The Wall Street Journal.
That’s 19 percent of the population.

Georgia ranks among the highest in the category. Mississippi had the highest percentage of recipients at 21.5 percent.

Wyoming had only 6 percent.

Southeast states generally had the largest percentage of people on food stamps, with Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee and South Carolina all over 18 percent.
Nationwide, nearly 15 percent used food stamps.
http://blogs.ajc.com/business-beat/2011/11/03/19-percent-of-georgians-on-food-stamps-mississippi-at-21-5-percent/

When so many Mississipians seem to be in crisis, it is interesting what is currently happening regarding an amendment to the Mississippi constitution.
Mallory Simpson of CNN is reporting in the article, Mississippi gov. supports amendment to declare fertilized egg a person:

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour offered his support Friday for an amendment to the state constitution that would define life as beginning at the moment of conception, saying he cast his absentee ballot for the measure despite struggling with its implications.

“I have some concerns about it,” he said in a statement issued Friday, a day after casting his ballot. “But I think all in all, I believe life begins at conception, so I think the right thing to do was to vote for it….”

Though the text of the amendment is simple, the implications if it passes couldn’t be more complex. If approved by Mississippi voters on Tuesday, it would make it impossible to get an abortion and hamper the ability to get some forms of birth control.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/04/us/mississippi-personhood-amendment/

This proposed amendment could provide work for lawyers on both sides of the abortion argument as the clarification of what it means is fleshed out. Abortion is a choice. No matter what law or laws are on the books, some women will choose abortion. In order to decrease the number of abortions, sexually active individuals must have access to cheap and available birth control. Women should be persuaded that adoption is an option and families who wish to adopt must be provided with assistance. Enacting a law without providing real family support will probably not stop abortion. It will only make abortions more dangerous for the women who feel that is their only choice.

The issue which the anti-Planned Parenthood crowd is not willing to discuss is that ethical issues are sometimes very complicated. It boils down to what is the greater good?

The University of Washington, School of Medicine provides a framework for analysis in The Principle of Non Malefience:

In the course of caring for patients, there are some situations in which some type of harm seems inevitable, and we are usually morally bound to choose the lesser of the two evils, although the lesser of evils may be determined by the circumstances….

The Mississippi legislature should be focused on family planning and improving the lives of their citizens.

We, as a society, should be focused on:

A Healthy Child In A Healthy Family Who Attends A Healthy School In A Healthy Neighborhood. ©

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It’s the culture and the values, stupid

4 Nov

James Carville once said, “it’s the economy, stupid” when describing the key campaign issue in an election. Moi wants to paraphrase, “it’s the culture and the values, stupid.” Felicity A. Morse of Huffington Post UK has posted the following article, Facebook: Children Young As Seven ‘Addicted To Social Networking’ which makes one wonder about the state of families.

Around 50% of seven to 12-year-olds use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites every day, according to a survey by consumer analysts Mintel.

For one million of these youngsters joining Facebook is viewed as a “rite of passage” and “an absolute must-have” according to the researchers. Only 5% of the youngsters surveyed didn’t use the site.

Peer pressure persuades kids where they go online, as nearly two-thirds of seven to twelve year-olds choose how to communicate depending on what sites their friends visit.
Twitter and Club Penguin rate the most highly after Facebook, though only 9% use Disney’s ‘social community’ every day.

Girls are most likely to fall victim to the pressures associated with social networking sites, with two thirds of those who value their mobile phone as a prized possession being female. Less than half of the boys surveyed gave the same result.

There’s similar trends for Facebook usage, with 10 to 12-year-old girls being the group most likely to use the site every day.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/11/03/facebook-twitter-addiction_n_1073252.html?ref=education&ir=Education

It is important for families to connect with each by participating in activities like family dinners and gasp, actually talking to each other.

Every week in the Seattle Stranger there is a column I, Anonymous , which gives one reader the chance to rant anonymously about any topic or person that has provoked such a reaction that venting and a good old fashion rant is necessary. Sometimes, the rants are poetic or touching. Most of the time, they are just plain hilarious. This is a recent rant, which is from a teacher, not an educator

I say hello with a big smile every morning as you shuffle in the door, but I secretly seethe with hatred for almost each and every one of you. Your stupidity and willful ignorance know no bounds. I have seen a lot of morons in my 10 years of teaching high school, but you guys take the cake. Your intellectual curiosity is nonexistent, your critical thinking skills are on par with that of a head trauma victim, and for a group of people who have never accomplished anything in their lives, you sure have a magnified sense of entitlement. I often wonder if your parents still wipe your asses for you, because you certainly don’t seem to be able to do anything on your own.
A handful of you are nice, sweet kids. That small group will go on and live a joyful and intellectual life filled with love, adventure, and discovery. The vast majority of you useless fuckwits will waste your life and follow in the footsteps of your equally pathetic parents. Enjoy your future of wage slavery and lower-middle-class banality.
Amazing how teachers are blamed for the state of education in this country. Look what you give us to work with. I am done trying to teach the unteachable.

Moi doesn’t blame most teachers for the state of education in this country, but puts the blame on the culture and the unprepared and disengaged parents that culture has produced. Moi also blames a culture of moral relativism as well which says there really are no preferred options. There are no boundaries, I can do what I feel is right for ME.

Moi is a “bus chick.” My principle mode of transport is the bus. On a recent adventure, I had just finished grocery shopping and had a bunch of bags. I was waiting at the corner for the light to change and the walk sign to come on. A disheveled man slowly staggered across the street and the stench, which enveloped him, preceded him.  The light was green and he was crossing the street. Cars stopped and honked their horns, but he was oblivious. He got across the street to my corner. The walk sign came on and I crossed the street to catch my bus. The bus was there and the driver had all the doors and windows open. It was raining, but the driver said I could board early. He explained that one prior passenger had some “issues.” I told him that I had encountered that passenger. We began a conversation while waiting for the bus to depart.  

I told him I had seen the man crossing the street and I wondered what his story was. All children start life with so much promise, I said. At some point in the conservation, we started talking about families and he said let me tell you about my family and he did. I listened.

He has been living with a woman for several years and there is no thought of ever marrying.  He has four sons, the youngest is 19 years old. The older ones are sort of doing OK. The younger one had lived with him and his girlfriend for a while, but he didn’t take to school and didn’t want to study. His girlfriend didn’t want to be a “hall monitor” and there were personality differences between the girlfriend and the son. So, the son moved out and is living elsewhere, but his life is troubled. The girlfriend was married to a very abusive guy and she left him. She has four children, the oldest is 33 and has been depressed her whole life. She had a bout with meth and is currently taking a buffet of antidepressants. She has two children, a ten year old and a two year old. The ten year old’s father said he never wanted children and this woman had him to keep the father in the relationship. Of course he bolted and is a sporadic interference in the life of this child. The 10 year old has problems and for a time the girlfriend had sole custody because mom was such a druggie.  The two year old is a girl and mom is still breastfeeding her. Since she takes a buffet of antidepressants, the child is getting the drug cocktail through the breast milk.  This little girl is slow and does not have the speech that one would expect of a two year old.

The girlfriend’s other three children are not fairing much better. The 33 year old was kinda conceived to hold the girlfriend’s first marriage together. That obviously didn’t work. The girlfriend’s first husband had an affair and a baby outside that marriage. So, to patch things up, the first husband agreed to let her have the second daughter. She isn’t doing so well, either. The other two children were in his words, “mistakes.” The girlfriend’s youngest child is a 16 year old with extreme anger issues. The driver mentioned he slapped the kid when he tried to hit the girlfriend. They got into an argument about the kid slapping her. According to the driver, the kid routinely calls his mother slut and whore. He says he will let that pass, but if he tries to hit his girlfriend, he will intervene again.

Thankfully, it was time for the bus to leave and some other passengers came aboard. When I got to my stop, I thanked the driver for the ride and sent Blessings to his family.
Moi knows that many want to define a family in many different ways, but a true family offers children a sense of continuity, stability, and security. Many modern couplings are transitory and the number of partners cycling through children’s lives in these serial relationships can sometimes be staggering. Many who rail against the children in the education system and their perceived deficiencies ought to ask themselves if you promoted the cultural and societal values which produced them.

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©

Tags: , , , , , ,

Newer Entries →